Redneck Halloween

Lucas turned 4 months old and took his first trip to the "pumpkin patch".  The redneck pumpkin patch consists on 3 hay bales, 1 pumpkin and a dressed up baby.  What a sight to be seen, I tell ya.... We looked like the biggest dorks taking pictures at the corner of a random house.

The pictures were taken, Halloween is over and I have a full year to plan for next year.

As you all can tell Lucas was not amused in pumpkin picture taking. 

This week we were all lucky enough to catch a cold. Lucky for us Lucas is the one least effected by this ick that is lasting too long.  B and I on the other hand are like the walking dead.  The only thing worse than a sick kid and sick mom is a sick dad.  I swear men are the biggest babies EVER! 

Lucas ate his first "food" this week as well.  B and I have been eating soups so I decided to let Lucas try.  Potato soup is a huge hit. He loved it! Next up on the menu is avocado.  

In the past month Lucas has grown almost 2 more inches and gained a little over a pound.  He can roll back to belly and belly to back effortlessly. He is starting to push himself up and attempt to crawl, ( more scooting but he gets going). He talks and talks all day long and still loves bath time.  Recently he has started "petting" Ace and Coon.  I have started reading books and singing songs which he loves. 

Happy Fall Ya'll 

That Mom

So I have turned into "that mom".  You know the one who takes there kids to music class, library story time and then back to music class.  The mom that goes all crazy about how much they learn and how beneficial it is. The mom who will do anything to get the child to nap.

Technically we didn't make it to story time since L slept longer than expected.  None the less it was still on the schedule.

We started the week off with mommy group and baby music class. L loved all the noise, songs and instruments.  After a little food he crashed out for a decent nap.

Now that he is getting older its becoming more important that he interacts with other babies and has stimulation other than tummy/ mat time.

L is already 16 pounds and over 25" long. He loves to chew on burp cloths and blankets. He is still sleeping in his swing and goes down around 8:30pm.  He is sleeping through the night with one snack between 4-5am.  Wake up time is around 7, feeding and play time. Nap time from 8-11.

Now that the weather is better we have been going for morning and night walks with the neighbors. L has started falling asleep in the stroller for a 30 minute cat nap ( what a blessing).


My baby boy is getting closer to 4 months old by the day.  He has grown so much since june.
I will be posting more pictures from this weeks adventures.

All things Dairy

Despite my love for cows and there ability to make milk, Lucas does tolerate it one bit.

I choose to suffer the consequences of consuming dairy, however my son has no choice.

It finally hit me that Lucas spit up every time I ate cheese, ice cream, sour cream. Basically every single milk product I eat gives this kid projectile vomit.

How on earth it took me 13 weeks to figure it out I have no idea, but I did and since cutting these delicious indulgences he is puke free!

Pretty much I can't eat jack squat.  Awesome expect additional weight loss and limited foods result in no human milk production.   Bacon and plain bagels thats where its at people.....

Breastfeeding is starting to loose in this feeding game.  I keep fighting to break out the damn formula I have stashed "just in case".  I made it 3 months and honestly I'm good with that. Anything from here on out is simply a bonus and money in my pocket.  Side note- thanks to B for continuing to support breastfeeding even though I'm so over it.


Addition foggy mommy brain screw up.....
I left the house yesterday with two different shoes.
No I didn't feel a difference even though one was thicker than the other.
Yes my 5 year old neighbor happily pointed out the mishap!

Bathing 101

When bathing with an infant expect the unexpected.

~ you will be puked on
~ you will be peed on
~ you will get pooped on
~ you will not be clean
~ you will be dirtier upon exit
~ you will continue to bathe this way because said infant loves bath time

Oh the things we do to make our kids happy..... *sigh*

Adventures

Tomorrow Little Man turns 12 weeks.  He has been to Vegas, camping and recently took his first zoo trip.  Honestly I would love to write about each of these trips however I took zero pictures and have zero time to devote to blogging.

Short catch up about Vegas so I won't forget this a year from now.  Bean flew from florida nonstop all the way to Vegas. He did so good and slept the whole way.  In the vegas airport we found that no bathroom had a "koala" changing table.  We got to spend lots of time with Grammie. Grammie got pooped on while we ate lunch! B and I got to go eat the worlds hottest sushi roll while G& G watched Bean.  Grandpa taught him lots of stretches and how to really moves those limbs.  Bean went to his first concert, ZZ Top and slept through that as well.  On the way home we sat in the first row of the plane. He earned his wings from southwest and slept the whole time AGAIN!


Camping: We took Bean camping over Memorial day weekend.  He got his first sunburn. I choose not to document that with pictures. It was awful :( poor baby looked like a lobster.  Luckily it went a way over night.  We tried to take you in the pool and let you splash but it was too cold.  Bean spend his first afternoon on a blanket in the grass while we all played games.  Over all it was a good trip, minus nap refusal.


Zoo: Yesterday Bean and I went to the zoo.  It had been exactly 12 weeks since I had been.  Last time I was a whale and a week and a half overdue.  The weather was beautiful, cool and shady.  I managed to take a couple pictures but none of Bean and I together.  The majority of the animals were inside, making the trip shorter than expected.  We plan on going back next week.  Time to start teaching baby einstein all about animals.  The highlight of the trip was everyone commenting on Bean's stroller set up.  In my opinion is looks ridiculous, but only the best for Bean.  He has a rockin head support, cooling fan and adjustable sun shade. The only thing missing is the singing mobile attachment ( super embarrassing).  Everyone wanted to know where to get "The Fan".

Brady on the left Lucas on the right

10 weeks

Dear Son,
Today you are 10 weeks and 4 days old.  You have finally fallen asleep for your morning nap.  Its about time I  caught up on some much needed blogging.

You have changed so much in these last few weeks.  Your getting so chunky and the rolls keep piling up.  You love love love to eat.  This last week you have really started to "play" with dad and I.  You laugh and coo and screech at the funny faces we make.  You have really started "watching" us and move your head to see who is coming by.

Keeping you in clothes has become a challenge, your either too long, too chunky or the head hole is too tight.  Most of your clothes are 3-6 months now.  Your fingers are amazing, you chew them constantly. When you aren't chewing them they are grabbing blankets and toys.

Bath time is your favorite time of day.  You splash and kick at your rubber ducky.  After bath you laugh and talk with daddy while mommy gets you dressed and ready for bed.  Most nights you go down around 9 and sleep until 4am.

Starting this week you cry for daddy's attention.  If you haven't see him, heard his voice, or been picked up you get fussy and scream until he come and gets you.  Your are a snuggly mama's boy until dad gets home and then I'm history.

So far in your short time with us you have already been on two family vacations.  Its crazy how quickly time goes by and how much you change everyday.  We love you more than you know.
Love Mom and Dad

8 weeks

My little man is already 8 weeks old.  Last week he flew across the country to Vegas for the weekend.  

This kid is already spoiled rotten.  The hotel doesn't provide snuggle bunny swings, big shocker so Bean got his own queen big boy bed.  While I may have broken the swing to sleep habit I created a cuddle monster.  Now this kid will only sleep if he is attached to me, thank you baby wearing!

This week he has turned all smiles. He will lye on his play mat at "talk" to the hanging toys.  He tells me "stories" whenever he is held.  He has become so cuddly its irresistible.  On Tuesday he weighed 12 pounds 5 oz and is growing out of size 1 diapers. How can we stay in newborn for 6 weeks and barely get a week in size 1? 

4 oz bottle have been replaced with 9 oz since he easily eats 6+ oz before bed and then another 2+ when he wakes at 2am. The miracle blanket is a big fail in this house, no more swaddle.  0-3 month clothes are too short but too wide and I'm temped to cut off all his footy pj's because his toes are curled.

Happy Birthday Little Man  

OCD Mothering

Being an over the top OCD anal retentive person does not work in Mommyville.

Try as I might, poop, puke and pee still get everywhere.  I have wasted so much time trying to "safeguard" everything from being "ruined".

I admit I have covered the bassinet, rock and play sleeper, and swing in multiple layers of blankets so the "pretty fabric" stays "clean".  This child can not be set on anything that cant wipe off, or has a towel covering it.... Ridiculous I know.

Despite being a mom I can't let go of this insane behavior.

I don't even dress him because his outfits could get stained, or they could get one of the 3 P's on them.  Last night we went through 3 pairs of jammies from puke alone. Makes for a very frustrated mommy.

Dressing myself has been equally frustrating. I have resorted to the same 3 shirts and a single pair of shorts that I have deemed worthy of ruining. I used to have 4 slip dresses I wore until the F*ing dryer ate them.  That resulted in a major meltdown.  Yes over dresses. Hopefully in 5 years I will laugh at my ridiculous, until then I'm still mourning the loss of old cotton fabric.

Bottle feeding- I thought this was going to be great until I realized I still had to get my boobs out to pump.  I thought for sure I would spare all the mess and "grossness" that comes along with nursing.
I was SOOOOO wrong.  Lucas still gets covered in milk and I still have to burp him.  I need a burp poncho, no matter how hard I try curdled milk still gets everywhere, especially in the boob cavern.

Lucas is lucky he has baby skin, or we would spend our days in the shower trying to remain clean.

5 weeks tomorrow!

1 month

I'm the worst at this now that I'm a mom. Seriously I have started Lucas' 3 week update 3 or 4 times and yet here we are 10 days later, still no update.

So here goes:
Lucas is officially 1 month and 6 hours and 10 minutes old
Clothes: Newborn
Weight: over 9 pounds
Height: 22-23"
Diapers: Newborn ( I started doing some cloth diapering while at home)
Favorite things: showers, play mat, eating
Eyes: deep blue! (no longer grey)
Sleeps: 4-5 hour stretch at night, 1-2 naps during the day
Eats: Every 2 hours during the day, every hour between 5-8pm, 3am and 5am

Usually we wake around 7am and then go for a walk around 8:30am.  Usually he wakes happy and smiling, my favorite time of the day. If I'm lucky you sleep from 9-11.  Between 11-1 we play and nap together from 1-3.  I love our afternoon snuggles even though we sweat like pigs.  Daddy finally got to feed you for the first time last night.  The two of them brought me to tears watching them bond in a whole new way.  We have successfully taken you to two restaurants and many shopping trips.  Everyday your changing more and more.  You fill our lives with so much love and joy.  Happy one month my sweet boy.

Granola Mom

Turns out I'm not so crunchy after all.

Before actually having a baby I had all these "plans" of how I was going to raise Lucas. Turns out that shit goes out the window once there is a real live baby to care for.

For example I vowed I would never put a disposable diaper on him EVER. Too bad his perfect little but hasn't even touched cloth yet. One day we will get out of sposies and move into the eco-friendly cloth, until then sorry landfill.

I was set on co-sleeping. That doesn't work for us either.  After day 3 of sweating to death and getting no sleep, the bassinet is where its at. Its actually been the best thing for B and I to not have a baby in the bed.  Its amazing to not be fat with a snoogie taking up space either!

Giving up on dressing this kid is a life savor! I hate laundry! If he doesn't wear clothes, then I don't have to wash anything. GENIUS!!!!

Baby wearing has also fallen by the wayside.  I actually set him down during the day.  I see no need to hold him 24/7 sorry to all you crunchy judgers, it just doesn't work for us.

Speaking of setting babies down. I do it, probably more than I should but life goes on.  Yes I am a mom, yes the house still needs to be picked up, dishes done, food to eat ect.  And the real kicker, I'm still human, I have to pee during the day too.  Play mats were made for a reason and Lucas loves his!

Being a mom means having no plan and doing what works for me and my baby despite all the advise and judgment others may cast.

Two Weeks

Honestly time has just slipped away. I can't believe at this time two weeks ago B and I were driving to the birth center. It had been 4 hours since my water had broken, and then it would be a mere 8 hours later that we would be holding our precious son.

In two weeks I have caught numerous bodily fluids with my bare hands.  Both B and I have been peed on. I am the lucky one to get the trifecta: pee,poop, puke! Yay for being a mom!

In two weeks love has multiplied in our little family by immeasurable amounts.  Its amazing how someone so small can steal your heart.

These last two weeks of NOT being pregnant have been amazing. No more swelling. No more heartburn, no more huge belly. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans ALREADY!!!

I can safely say that I never got stretch marks on my belly. I never got hemorrhoids. I had an all natural labor and delivery and survived.

We celebrated our first family holiday by going grocery shopping! I got to shower, wear make-up and do my hair.

At our two week check up Lucas gained a pound and mommy lost 35, daddy on the other hand isn't fairing so well with his baby weight.

 

 
 

We have a baby!

Lucas Duane 

6-23-12 2:03am 

50/50

My due date or guess date or a date baby is supposed to come came and went.  Actually its quite rude that a date is given but the child is still in complete control.

While B and I are both very prompt, I forget that he has 50% of the DNA here.  So far Bean is following in B's birthing steps.. BEING LATE. Which for me was never an option. Hello never say never slap in the face.

B also does not like change at all. He has meltdowns over me getting different soap just because its not the same, then like an adult he complains until is gone about how much he hated said soap.  I think Bean is taking after his father in this aspect as well. Who wants to leave the place they have been happily living just because a date comes around.

Lastly B likes to hold things in reserve and wait until he is ready. Bean is ready, just waiting in there to come when He feels like it.  There is no other reasonable explanation for him to continue hanging out in my womb.


Rules are good.  Rules keep structure. Rules build character.  I could go on and on about rules and why they are awesome and why they are even better now that I'm going to be a parent.
Bean you now have two rules you MUST follow since you clearly blew off my requests for you to come early.
You may not interfere with fathers day dinner. ( that include shoving your feet in my ribs so I can't enjoy my dinner)
You may not come the day that I take Grammie to the zoo.  You have no idea how badly she needs/wants to go.

Thank you son, have a good weekend. Your fine to come out sometime after tuesday.

Due date

Here I am 8 hours into Bean's due date with no Bean.  He must know how much I love being pregnant. How kind and thoughtful he is by allowing me to squeeze in the extra time. Your dad and I really want to enjoy father's day, you may stay until next week. Actually I'm begging you not to come until AFTER the 17th.

Hoping this is the last pregnant photo I ever take

SOOOOO excited for the weekend. I can't wait to see everyone and go "do stuff" so I stop thinking about giving birth.

Watched Pot

Everyday someone enquires about Bean. I am officially a watched pot. A watched pot never boils. I blame all you impatient people (including myself and B) for not having a baby in my arms.

It's too much pressure really. I am miserable being pregnant, not sleeping and being on a "push timer". I want him out badly, more than all of you. If he were here I would be the first to tell everyone the great news " I'm NOT pregnant anymore!!!!".

Its pretty safe to say Bean is waiting until everyone gets here to make his entrance, or he is going to be stubborn and wait until everyone leaves.

B has made it very clear that Bean had better not interfere with father's day dinner. I agree with him. I want to eat awesome food too, and the restaurant owes me me dessert because they were out last time.

I've started working on a vacation schedule of awesome things to do while my parents are in town.

The B and D Inn is open for visitors again. The toilet has been replaced again, the shower head had been replaced again as well.  I've got the pantry and freezer stocked full of food.  The fur piles are all gone at the moment and the dust is at a tolerable level.  Ace and Coon are anxiously awaiting Grammies' return.

Sweeps

Everyone in there mother has a "date" picked out on when Bean will arrive. Some have come and gone while others loom in the distance.

B has become worse than me. He calls multiple times a day asking if I'm contracting and if today is the day.  Its so darn cute watching him get so excited to meet Bean.  Basically my job is to produce this child and to do it quickly.  So far I'm having zero luck.

At my weekly check up yesterday nothing had changed since last week. Big bummer. But I begged for a membrane sweep hoping that would jump start something or at least give Bean another big hint that its time to exit.  It wasn't as uncomfortable as I imagined, day to is where it hurts. OMG today I feel like my lady bits got hit my a semi.

Apparently I've started nesting again.  I baked 3 batches of muffins last night and plan on doing more today. I have a whole list of to-do's I want to finish this week.


Three days until my sister comes to town, and four until my parents get here. I keep telling Bean that he is running out of time, he is unconcerned with arriving on time.  Lord help us all if he chooses to be late like his Daddy.

COME OUT BABY WE WANT TO MEET YOU!!!!
p.s and your mommy is sick of being on watched pot status by EVERYONE! 

Photoshoot

Finally photo upload from our maternity shoot on mothers day.

And for all inquiring minds I'm still pregnant.  Hump-tine calls and texts will not make this baby come any faster.

Thankful

Bad things happen to good people.  Even though I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, sometimes I have doubt too. 

During our 7 weeks of classes all of us couples ended up getting close by the end.  It just happens that way even if no one talks or tries to be friendly.  Anyhow, the other day I learned that one of the couples had lost their son via stillborn at 36 weeks.  

While it is not my place to share about the story, it did bring me back to reality.  Bean will come when he wants, how he wants and nothing I do will force him out.  I am so thankful to have had such an easy pregnancy even though complaining gets the best of me.  

In perspective just knowing Bean is alive and healthy is what is important.  His birthday will be the most profound memory I have whether its today, tomorrow or two weeks from now.  Its just a day, his birth is what is important.  

Time to put on my big girl panties, accept the fact that I could be pregnant for another 2 weeks and move on with life.  B and I are back to making weekend plans and I am officially un-hermitting myself from the casa.  

Defeated

Happy Birthday to my one and only Mother.  She is like a fine wine, getting better and better as the years go by. And getting slightly more like my nana giving me a few chuckles here and there.  Lets face it, its way cooler to be a grandma and a mom, you have no rules or responsibilities times 2! Anyhow happy happy birthday (insert jingle from red lobster or any other food establishment). 

Today is also the day I give up. You win kid. Stay as long as you want.  None of the other boys in this house listen so why should you.  Enjoy your stay, hope you are nice and cozy. Besides if I tell your dad that today is the day one more time he is going to commit harry carey.  While you continue to invade my womb I will no longer be sitting at home waiting for you. I'm getting out of this damn house and getting "mommy time"!

Goals

After a very encouraging appointment yesterday I need to re-elvaluate my goals AGAIN.

I'm convinced that the clouds hid the moon on purpose last night, forcing me to stay pregnant for one more night.

I'm being generous in giving Bean today or tomorrow to make an appearance.

Preferably tomorrow, not only is it Grammies birthday, its also a solar eclipse. ( trying the whole atmosphere thing again)

Wednesday is during the week, allowing the birth center to be quiet.

Its also the 3rd day of the week. (3's are my favorite)

All bags are ready and in the car.

All snacks have been gathered and I have my post birth meal waiting in the fridge.

I did all the dishes and laundry, went MAJOR grocery shopping.

Basically this baby has to come, I'm bored and finished everything I was procrastinating on doing.


On a funny note while walking in the bullshit cloud light last night B stumbled upon a snake in the road.  A decent 3-4 ft brown/black snake.  Since that falls under my "department" I almost stepped on it not paying attention. B was long gone and jumped at every little shadow on the second lap.  It was quite comical to watch him jump from side to side at absolutely nothing.

This kid!

Weeks spent taking EPO-3
Weeks spent drinking RRLT-3
Weeks spent hydrating with coconut water-2
Hours spent talking to Bean- countless
Hours spent doing Pelvic Rocks- countless
Hours spent on birthball- countless
Miles walked in "moon light"-2
Eaten one whole pineapple
Tried every damn exercise in the book to encourage this kid to come out

NUMBER OF BABIES BORN THIS WEEKEND= 0

Popped

Its official.
The belly button has popped out indicating baby is done cooking.
We have purchased all additional items for Bean.
I can no longer wear my ring, morning, noon or night.
Wearing shoes is impossible, Even B's shoes are to tight for these marshmallows.
I had the great displeasure of buying depends.

Since everything is done I declare this pregnancy over.  Now if Bean would get the hint and just decide to be born all would be right in the world.

On the eve of June's full moon, I can only hope that the gravitational pull will be getting him out and not holding him in.  Besides the typical "bloody show" and my water breaking I have had everything else indicating labor, but no baby to show for it.


I have tried everything to get this baby out. He will not budge. Not even a little.  How has he not learned in the 9 1/2 months cohabiting that I do not like to wait, I am impatient and like things in order.

To top off still being pregnant, having contractions, not sleeping and all around being miserable I woke up with bright green sticky conjunctiva. Basically I woke up Asain and now my eyes are swollen shut with green glue.

Life Alert

Honestly blogging has been boring.  Resulting in a lack of posting.

I'm not sure how many more times I can say that I feel huge and have kankles the size of thighs before becoming a parrot.

Basically I have nothing new to post about this pregnancy other than I'm finished.  Bean needs to get on outa there before I go crazy. He keeps playing doorbell ditch on my cervix and I must say the continued days of contractions are super duper annoying!

Everyone has seen the life alert commercials. I practiced making one yesterday. For real.
Since the hippo feet need to be elevated I thought I would lay on my back and prop hippo feet on the birthball.  Great idea until it was time to get up.  My hips and rear were numb to the point I could not move literally I was stuck and could not get up.  After lots of cussing and tears and maneuvers I never want to try again I un-stuck myself.

On an off topic rant I would like to ask Santa for the 6 days back that I lost while reading the "Grey" trilogy.

My next post will be about Bean's arrival.  Hopefully its tonight or tomorrow, heaven forbid I have to be pregnant for 14 more days.  Send a rescue team out for B if this baby chooses to be "well done" I have been grouchy long enough.

BirthPlan

This is B's birth plan.

Pack clothes- will take 2 minutes estimated time

Bean will come on a friday night, when he isn't busy

Next friday looks good according to B's schedule

Pack Ice Chest ( I need to have everything ready ahead of time)

I am allowed to go into labor once I pack mine and Bean's bags. Until then he must stay put

I need to collect all misc snacks and "home comforts" prior to labor

I need to have my birth plan, birth playlist and "just in case" plans ready

There is much more although I stopped listening after my list was growing while his was shortening.  This man is not good I repeat NOT GOOD under pressure.  I can play an awful version of what might happen in my head and its not pretty.

The swing has been assembled and no persons were harmed in the process. A small miracle in its self.  During the three day weekend we will be conquering the remaining tasks in the nursery and installing the carseat.  All neighbors are on standby for pet duty. Freezer meals are ready and waiting. Now its just waiting waiting waiting until this boy makes his entrance.

Read Between The Lines

B is no mushy gushy romance type of guy.
He is a softy though, its just a matter of seeing through his bull and sarcasm to find it.

Throughout this whole pregnancy he has kept up his snarky behavior, until recently.  After 9 months he is finally willing to surrender to the belly.  I seriously need to write this stuff down so I can cherish these memories while he denies them 20 years from now. 

The last few nights B has come home gone straight to my belly and started asking "Bean" how his day was and carries on a whole conversation before he says hello to me.  Its tear jerking, really super cute stuff  that I get to watch.

Nighttime is even better on the softy scale.  B will tell Bean, "don't kick me, we are going to hang out before bed".

And just like that it's like I've disappeared and its just B and the belly. He talks and sings and carries on about whatever.

B may not come out and say he is excited and ready to be a dad, but these tender moments can't fool me.  Bean and I are so lucky to have B's love and affection, even if it takes time to de-code.

Sleep Training

This last week I have been infant sleep training myself.  Everyone needs sleep, at 9 months pregnant I feel I need more sleep and somehow I manage to get NONE.

Sleep is off galavanting with my skinny feet and ankles while I'm left swollen and sleepless.

Right about now I regret having a "tall" bed.  For more than one reason it is on my shit list.
For starters its too tall, I'm too short.
I'm pregnant, there is no longer space for me to lift my legs onto the bed.
Getting off the bed is just as dangerous.
The acrobatics needed to get on and off the bed cause contractions, super annoying when I have to pee.

This is how my nightly routine starts.
10pm -get in bed play on phone or read until I have to pee
Get out of bed, pee, try to get back in bed, contractions
What feels like and hour later I'm finally comfortable.. but... I have to pee again
Start process all over 3-5 times per night and then bam its 5:30 time to make coffee and get B off to work.
6am-7am get comfortable again and sleep until 8:30- 9am if no one calls, texts, Facebooks me.

Total time slept 3ish hours all interrupted.  Sometimes I can nap during the day adding another hour or so of sleep. Making a grand total up to 5hours if all goes right.

Apparently my body has some sick way of preparing me ahead of time for sleeplessness.  So far it sucks!

Only 10 days to make Bean a June Baby!

Jessica Simpson

We had one of those in class last night.  I really hope she knows the baby comes out her who-ha and not her butt.  This question was actually asked.  For her sake please hold any additional judgement that I have not already subjected her to.

dumb woman " so do I just not feed my baby until my milk comes in?" 


Instructor " babies start eating within an hour of being born.  Your body makes colostrum to nourish baby until milk comes in" 


I seriously feel bad for this child.  The sad thing is this woman is not 12 though she acted like it the entire time.  I grilled B on the way home making sure I didn't ever appear that dumb despite the fact that I'm "young".

Overall class was 2 1/2 hours of personal stories and one ten minute video of wasted time.  What took an entire evening could have been summed up in two or three sentences.


The key to a successful latch is keeping babies head and spine aligned.  Contrary to "holding" baby in a specific position.  Baby is properly latched when the majority of the areola and nipple are in babies mouth. Breasts are self cleaning, no need to "wash" after every feed. It will be uncomfortable days 2-6 when encouragement and nipple cracking occur. 


That took two minutes to type, maybe I should email the instructor about time management, lists and being an efficient speaker.  Class would go much much faster and the same paragraph of information would be delivered.


Yesterday I went eviction crazy. Poor Bean got bounced around on the birth ball all morning, I ate, napped and bounced until a tool box was delivered.

This is for size comparison 

So this sized box got dropped off. Said box was a trade in. Said box was from a dirty body shop. Said box is HUGE.  So to satisfy the urge to nest I started cleaning it.  The box is now shiny red and could actually house tools.  B just about shit his pants when he opened the garage and then gave me a stern warning to stop "going crazy".  

Bouncing and tool box scrubbing = contractions ( very strong painful ones)

In all the what to expect books, no one has mentioned cleaning tool boxes or putting tools away to start labor. If successful I want to be added to the book!

I didn't Know I was Pregnant......

Shows like this exist because some bodies don't change during pregnancy!!!

Clearly my womb has grown due to this basketball that seems to get in the way of everything... Yet these damn doctors keep telling me I'm SMALL!!!!

I'm over it, to the point where I want to tell them not to measure me anymore and I will come back when its time to push.

At this point in time Bean has great heart tones, moves all over the place(he put on an acrobat show during the app) but is measuring 31 weeks instead of 37.  His head is also starting to engage in the pelvis making me measure smaller.

So far he is listening to me by preparing to come early, no one better mess this up!

I have one week to make "change" or we go for another in depth ultrasound.

To my surprise my blood pressure was low yesterday, still no protein or glucose in my urine and no headache or other pre-e symptoms.  Meaning the lovely kankles I've been sporting are just part of being pregnant and will most likely stay/ get worse.   I improved my iron and am still on the low end for weight gain despite how "huge" B tells me I am.

I will be dragging B to "Milking class" tonight.  This should be interesting!

Conclusion

5 weeks of birth class came to an end last night.  Even though we didn't overly participate in class it is sad to see it end.  B and I had a lot of fun "bonding"during these last few weeks of hushed sarcasm.

Last nights class was about transfers and emergency situations.  Basically making ANOTHER plan of what to do "just in case".

We got instructions for postpartum care.  Basically week 1 I'm supposed to stay in bed, eat. sleep and feed Bean, THATS IT!  Week two I can start "light" activities.  That first week should be interesting, I'm certain we need that week on audio as well.

Our guest speakers brought their brand new baby (literally less than a month old) to help answer any questions or fears we might have.  That baby was so damn small, cute and scary at the same time.  In just a few weeks, B and I will have one of those (even smaller) to care for.


I have been on operation baby clothes. I have done 5 loads of just baby laundry.  This kid seriously never has to wear the same outfit twice.  Thanks to cousin Mary, Bealls and Babies R-Us Bean now has socks, bibs, jammies, and day clothes.  Since he now has more clothes than I can stuff into his closet the spare room and become baby clothes folding/snapping central.  Even B came in to help clear out the massive-ness.

Our bag is still unpacked, the swing is still unassembled and in the box, the carseat has yet to make it in the car and I'm freaking out.  B on the other hand is so chill and unconcerned that this baby could come at any time .  It drives me crazy how relaxed he can be in such a time of uncertainty.

Updates on Bean tomorrow!

Mother's Day and the Home Stretch

Sunday was my first half mother's day.  This year B asked Ace and Coon what they got me for mother's day.  Both sat staring with a blank expression like shut up or share your food.  Coon however did let me sleep in until 10 making it the best day ever!

No mother's day is complete without sarcasm so B also asks what Bean got me? Ummm... Nothing but I bet I will get a few kicks to the ribs and heartburn later!  B is confident that Bean can cook me breakfast in bed next year.

B went to work, I took a nap and then got ready for dinner.

We ate here!

Had these for an appetizer

We both had fillets "oscar style". So so delicious.  That night I only left with one dessert, the mile high chocolate cake.  

How far along? less than 30 days from my due date

Total weight gain: Around 20ish pounds, maybe more after all the cake and ice cream

Maternity clothes? Nothing new, but I am trying to mix up my small wardrobe with shirts that still fit from before. 

Stretch marks? No new ones! The belly is still free of them! 

Sleep: Sleep has been awful.  Partly because our bed is so freakin tall.  I have to pee every two hours at most, and then jungle gym my way back into the bed, suffer through a few BH and then try to get comfortable.  I sleep for an uninterrupted 2 hours after B leaves in the morning. 

Best moment this week: Getting a wicked good pedicure, taking more maternity pictures and then enjoying my first mother's day. 

Miss Anything? Sleep, being comfortable

Movement: He still moves quite a bit, it more rolling side to side or scrunching into a ball. 

Food cravings: Cake, cookies and any sweets in general. I must slow down!!!!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: After eating too much or not enough the sickness is back. 

Gender: boy

Labor Signs: Lots and lots of braxton hicks. My belly is constantly tight. Pressure and a lot of cramping are new so hopefully that means he got the eviction notice. 

Symptoms: Braxton hicks, cramps, leaky boobs, heartburn and massive swelling.  Kankles are the new accessory this year. 

Belly Button in or out? Completely flat, sometimes it sticks out :( 

Wedding rings on or off? On until sausage fingers get to tight. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: Good as long as I've had coffee and waken up on my own. Other wise stay away. 

Looking forward to: Check up tomorrow, chiropractic adjustment, birth class tonight and thursday. Babymoon to the beach this weekend. And then full on eviction process is starting.  And saving the best for last everyone will be here in june!

New boots picture

One of the sneak peaks from saturday 

Almost done!

Pedi Interview #2

Tuesday I spent a ridiculously long 45 minutes meeting a pedi and his "main" nurse.  The practice happens to be holistic and only accepts out of pocket pay.
This is both good and bad.
From the holistic point of view they are not bat crazy about rules of vaccines, antibiotics and other common pedi policies.
The down side to being more open to my views on pediatrics comes with a hefty price, about $6 a minute to see this guy.

Things were going better than the visit with Mrs. Frizzle UNTIL............
Until it came to discussing eye ointment and Vitamin K (drops vs shot).
I can see where my juvenile appearance may give a false sense of stupidity, however I can assure that I will not be trying out for the next season of 16 and pregnant.
As shocking as it may seem this baby was actually planned and more shocking I know who the "daddy" is.

So besides that small incident things went better than I expected.  After waiting a few minutes, about $30 worth of time I got to meet Dr. David.  Because his entrance was so bold, I have included a small clip of him.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=146239

So after comprehending everything that was discussed, the condition of the office, staff ect, I am still undecided.  I don't love them, but they are certainly better than Mrs. Frizzle.  I will keep looking until I find the "Dr. Kody" of Florida.  

4 down 2 to go

Last nights class was all about after labor. Basically there is a checklist of things that have to be done before we can all go home as one tired baby crying family.  The soonest we can leave by law is 2 hours after birth, the average is 4-6 hours. Take that 4-6 hours plus the time it takes to get Bean out its basically a whole day... not exactly the in and out experience I was expecting.

We were told to drink lots of fluids after delivery to keep everything "flowing". Only my support partner would ask if alcoholic beverages were allowed. It did break the ice in the room and people started laughing. (we actually talked to other class mates).


Anyway the instructor was talking about taking it easy after delivery and the first few days will set the course for healing. basically the more active the longer you bleed after.
B- looks like your going to bleed forever
Me- if he comes on friday I will not be putting tools away saturday, don't even think about it




We got prepared that our "beautiful" baby will look ugly after they come out.  Wrinkly and possibly bruised and then they will shit all over! Awesome! sign us up for two!
B- i'm not touching him if he is covered in cheese
Me- just wait till he pee's on you 




Postpartum Doula- guest speaker

Basically she is a certified nurse and certified doula.  She comes home with you after having the baby. Sort of like in the hospital you have someone to bring the baby back and forth so the parents can rest.  No getting out of bed for drinks, diaper changes or for food.

Driving home B and I discussing hiring her. 
Me- I think its a good idea
B- I will help you 
Me- like when you helped when I was in the hospital?
Me- you slept and whined about how you were so tired and needed the doctor to hurry up
B- oh ya, maybe you should set up the interview
B- you know she isn't your maid?
Me- yea, thats my job. I don't have near enough time to show you where everything is and teach you how to do it. 

35 weeks 4 days

Big Girl Panties

As time is drawing nearer its time to put my big girl panties on and accept the fact a baby is moving in.  At dinner last night I asked B if he was getting nervous about having a newborn. His response was less than charming as usual " nope, no sense in worrying now. He has to come home and you get to watch him."

This weekend we ordered the remaining items off the registry.  The only two things we need now is the mattress and the baby.  I'm anxious to get the pack and play set up in the living room, the bassinet put up in our room and get used to everything before Bean comes.  None of those things will be happening due to our insane cat.  The baggage compartment on the stroller is becoming his favorite new hiding place.

The nursery is a pigsty again.  It was so close to being finished and now its back to shambles.  None of the space is functional yet.  Not to mention inconvenient when Bean will be in our room until he is old enough to sleep more than 2 hours straight.

The to-do list this week is short but very important.
1. Find pediatrician
2. Pack bag for birth center
3. Put carseat in back of car. ( a very real possibility this would be forgotten when it came time to "go")


So far the only thing B is concerned about his getting all his "snacks" packed into the bag.  He is already working on what he wants to eat.  He offered to get me the best doula money could buy if that would make birth easier.  Once I reminded him who was giving birth he quickly retracted his offer, though it was actually very caring and thoughtful.  Maybe he could just rent out the birth center, hire security guards and  I would feel like beyonce'.

Lastly we have gotten serious about doing the "P" massage. Previous breeders have recommended it to the point where anything is better than nothing, step aside awkwardness... this MUST be done!
I spoiled myself by getting $30 victoria secret underwear. No  5 pack of hanes for this mama postpartum.

All about labor.......

Last nights birth class was not nearly as fun due to the fact that we were late and couldn't sit next to each other to talk smack.

Basically last nights class scared the shit out of me and I would rather have a gestational carrier deliver Bean.  Discussion of tearing, optimal labor positions, perineal massage and emptying of the bowels was enough to declare my "who-ha" out of business.

Apparently B and I should have been doing these "massages" since week 32. Obviously it still isn't happening.  B requested I learned how to do it myself so he didn't screw "it" up.

Last week we were told to make a birthplan, this week we were told to not have a birthplan as it can interfere with labor and progression. WTF? Make up your mind people! Also for every person at the birth add 1additional hour on average to push the baby out.  Awesome, so no one should attend my birth period and I should be delivering at home caveman style for speed and efficiency.


We watched some horribly graphic video of a woman give birth. All I have to say is ouch! And no one better ask if I want a mirror to see my baby.  Thats one of those images I can do without, and at this point in time I don't want to reach down and feel his head either. (insert really gross face).

The guest speaker was a massage therapist. She gave tips for swelling and discomfort.  I was jabbing B to listen because he refuses to rub my feet, his response "teach Ace to do it".  Although he did rub them when we got home for the first time ever! After about 5 minutes his hands started hurting and he had to stop, go figure!

I gained 7 pounds in two weeks, my belly grew 5cm and finally at almost 35 weeks my belly has passed my boobs!  Bean is doing great, head down and hr is in the 130's. Judging by my voracious appetite and constant need for sleep I would say we are both going through a growth spurt.

Everyone keeps asking if we have what we need for the baby. I reply with I guess, I haven't ever had one before. If we got a puppy instead I would know exactly what we need. Personally I don't want anymore "stuff" to put away. If anyone has the new baby manual and want to lend it out that would be awesome.

Tidbits

I was filing birth homework and decided to read some of B's questions.  One of them caught me off guard and I almost pee'd my pants.
Q: What are your fears about birth?
B: I'm afraid she will rush the birth and not be patient! 


Reverting back to a previous post about being a great parent and pet owner until you actually have to do it, Well I'm here to say I suck already.

People often question B and I when we say "one and done".  They tell us we don't even know what its like to be parents and the joy of having children.  In my opinion the homeless dude is saying that about his crack, "just try it, you don't even know how good it is".

So we have 1 dog and 1 cat, making it 2 against 2.  As the humans we have no control. We are on an even playing field with the furry critters and they know it!

Exhibit 1- ace goes into our bedroom when we leave, coon gets the run of the house.  Sometimes coon lets ace out just to spite us. So saturday night coon waited patiently outside of our room until we left to let ace out. ( I told B as we were leaving that ace would be free when we came home. Sure as shit that cat let his brother out)

They tag team us already. If one starts misbehaving then the other one starts in.  The fight over food, toys, attention ect.  There is no way in hell we are having two kids! The one already rules this house and he is still in my womb!

Today I have another prenatal appointment. They will say, "wow your still small", " still no weight gain", " your measuring small again". Since I know all the answers, I just want to skip it.  More than reassuring these appointments are boring and redundant.

B has returned in parrot form, lucky me.......
---- have you made your birth playlist? (asked 50+ times this weekend)
----have you written the birth plan? ( asked 50+ times)
----- how are you planning on relaxing
---- where did your belly button go? ( could have punched him for this one)

My favorite comment from this weekend is-B " I can't wait until this pregnancy is over, it has been really hard"

My reply " what has been so hard for you? Are you the one who is pregnant? Long pause with no response..... my point exactly!

Sunny Side Up

Only my son would start being stubborn and in control already.  He must be following suit from his brothers who don't give a rats ass about my rules or expectations of them.

Prime example right here! And he just started drinking my coffee!

Anyways, Bean has been quite the prankster.  From hiding well in my womb to kicking the cat through my belly and now continuing to stay sunny side up He is really giving me a run for my money.  Two weeks ago he was still quite comfy in the transverse position.  Thanks to the chiropractor we got him back to head down. Now he needs to turn around! 

Apparently posture has a lot to do with babies position, go figure.  Basically that means no more recliner, no more slouching, back sleeping or any other comfortable position.  So far I'm on day two of sitting and standing like I'm nailed to a board and its the farthest thing from being fun.  I have also been encouraged to start stretching and arching my back like a cat. We shall see on monday if this actually works. 

For humor here is another awesome birth conversation had between B and I. 

Me- this baby really needs to turn, Its not in my plan to have a 30 hour labor

B- what do you even do for 30 hours?

Me- Labor? have contractions? Idk, but from what people say its hard and long

B- oh, thats like more than a day, how is that even possible? What if I want a break?

Me- you don't get one, rest now!

Too Many Photos Thursday

Bammo 34 weeks!

Here are catch up photos from the last few weeks and some from the baby shower last week.

Downtown Disney

Dancing a few months ago

Downtown Disney

More leggos

Leggo Dogs 

Snow white

Woody and Buzz

Fossil Encounter

Fossil Encounter

Nursery Windows

Close up 

Mom and Dad Duck

Baby Dear

Bass night light

Books and rocker pillow from Grammie

More goods from Grammie

Cow Humidifier 

Blankie and swaddle me's

Learning Puppy and First fishing hat/shirt

Hunting gear

Best onesie ever

Handmade by Aunt Christina 

More clothes

Clothes

Sheets

Mattress cover

Blankie, sheets, receiving blankets

Handmade Taggie blanket

Moby Wrap Carrier 

Shopping Cart cover

Features!

Bedding set 

Bedding set 

Bibs and diapers

Handmade burp cloths

Cloth diapers

Bowls, spoons, and nose sucker

Bath stuff 

Baby's first activity mat

Bath stuff, wipes 

Paci clips, bottle and paci's 

Sunshade and baby Einstein cd, stroller sticker

toys

Bath stuff