All about labor.......

Last nights birth class was not nearly as fun due to the fact that we were late and couldn't sit next to each other to talk smack.

Basically last nights class scared the shit out of me and I would rather have a gestational carrier deliver Bean.  Discussion of tearing, optimal labor positions, perineal massage and emptying of the bowels was enough to declare my "who-ha" out of business.

Apparently B and I should have been doing these "massages" since week 32. Obviously it still isn't happening.  B requested I learned how to do it myself so he didn't screw "it" up.

Last week we were told to make a birthplan, this week we were told to not have a birthplan as it can interfere with labor and progression. WTF? Make up your mind people! Also for every person at the birth add 1additional hour on average to push the baby out.  Awesome, so no one should attend my birth period and I should be delivering at home caveman style for speed and efficiency.


We watched some horribly graphic video of a woman give birth. All I have to say is ouch! And no one better ask if I want a mirror to see my baby.  Thats one of those images I can do without, and at this point in time I don't want to reach down and feel his head either. (insert really gross face).

The guest speaker was a massage therapist. She gave tips for swelling and discomfort.  I was jabbing B to listen because he refuses to rub my feet, his response "teach Ace to do it".  Although he did rub them when we got home for the first time ever! After about 5 minutes his hands started hurting and he had to stop, go figure!

I gained 7 pounds in two weeks, my belly grew 5cm and finally at almost 35 weeks my belly has passed my boobs!  Bean is doing great, head down and hr is in the 130's. Judging by my voracious appetite and constant need for sleep I would say we are both going through a growth spurt.

Everyone keeps asking if we have what we need for the baby. I reply with I guess, I haven't ever had one before. If we got a puppy instead I would know exactly what we need. Personally I don't want anymore "stuff" to put away. If anyone has the new baby manual and want to lend it out that would be awesome.