Tidbits

I was filing birth homework and decided to read some of B's questions.  One of them caught me off guard and I almost pee'd my pants.
Q: What are your fears about birth?
B: I'm afraid she will rush the birth and not be patient! 


Reverting back to a previous post about being a great parent and pet owner until you actually have to do it, Well I'm here to say I suck already.

People often question B and I when we say "one and done".  They tell us we don't even know what its like to be parents and the joy of having children.  In my opinion the homeless dude is saying that about his crack, "just try it, you don't even know how good it is".

So we have 1 dog and 1 cat, making it 2 against 2.  As the humans we have no control. We are on an even playing field with the furry critters and they know it!

Exhibit 1- ace goes into our bedroom when we leave, coon gets the run of the house.  Sometimes coon lets ace out just to spite us. So saturday night coon waited patiently outside of our room until we left to let ace out. ( I told B as we were leaving that ace would be free when we came home. Sure as shit that cat let his brother out)

They tag team us already. If one starts misbehaving then the other one starts in.  The fight over food, toys, attention ect.  There is no way in hell we are having two kids! The one already rules this house and he is still in my womb!

Today I have another prenatal appointment. They will say, "wow your still small", " still no weight gain", " your measuring small again". Since I know all the answers, I just want to skip it.  More than reassuring these appointments are boring and redundant.

B has returned in parrot form, lucky me.......
---- have you made your birth playlist? (asked 50+ times this weekend)
----have you written the birth plan? ( asked 50+ times)
----- how are you planning on relaxing
---- where did your belly button go? ( could have punched him for this one)

My favorite comment from this weekend is-B " I can't wait until this pregnancy is over, it has been really hard"

My reply " what has been so hard for you? Are you the one who is pregnant? Long pause with no response..... my point exactly!

Sunny Side Up

Only my son would start being stubborn and in control already.  He must be following suit from his brothers who don't give a rats ass about my rules or expectations of them.

Prime example right here! And he just started drinking my coffee!

Anyways, Bean has been quite the prankster.  From hiding well in my womb to kicking the cat through my belly and now continuing to stay sunny side up He is really giving me a run for my money.  Two weeks ago he was still quite comfy in the transverse position.  Thanks to the chiropractor we got him back to head down. Now he needs to turn around! 

Apparently posture has a lot to do with babies position, go figure.  Basically that means no more recliner, no more slouching, back sleeping or any other comfortable position.  So far I'm on day two of sitting and standing like I'm nailed to a board and its the farthest thing from being fun.  I have also been encouraged to start stretching and arching my back like a cat. We shall see on monday if this actually works. 

For humor here is another awesome birth conversation had between B and I. 

Me- this baby really needs to turn, Its not in my plan to have a 30 hour labor

B- what do you even do for 30 hours?

Me- Labor? have contractions? Idk, but from what people say its hard and long

B- oh, thats like more than a day, how is that even possible? What if I want a break?

Me- you don't get one, rest now!

Too Many Photos Thursday

Bammo 34 weeks!

Here are catch up photos from the last few weeks and some from the baby shower last week.

Downtown Disney

Dancing a few months ago

Downtown Disney

More leggos

Leggo Dogs 

Snow white

Woody and Buzz

Fossil Encounter

Fossil Encounter

Nursery Windows

Close up 

Mom and Dad Duck

Baby Dear

Bass night light

Books and rocker pillow from Grammie

More goods from Grammie

Cow Humidifier 

Blankie and swaddle me's

Learning Puppy and First fishing hat/shirt

Hunting gear

Best onesie ever

Handmade by Aunt Christina 

More clothes

Clothes

Sheets

Mattress cover

Blankie, sheets, receiving blankets

Handmade Taggie blanket

Moby Wrap Carrier 

Shopping Cart cover

Features!

Bedding set 

Bedding set 

Bibs and diapers

Handmade burp cloths

Cloth diapers

Bowls, spoons, and nose sucker

Bath stuff 

Baby's first activity mat

Bath stuff, wipes 

Paci clips, bottle and paci's 

Sunshade and baby Einstein cd, stroller sticker

toys

Bath stuff 

BirthClass #2

We ventured into labor land last night.  Two hours of no stop labor coping, labor support, and making "change".  It was an experience. Since this is my blog I will share our experience the way it happened, not the way movies show it.  Judge if you choose, this my reality!

In previous posts I have mentioned that B and I have an unconventional way of dealing with serious situations, emotions, and over all being mushy gushy.  Sarcasm and verbal jabs are more likely to be heard than encouragement. Even though I bitch about it on occasion and still like the mushy stuff I think I would laugh and feel embarrassed if B suddenly became verbally supportive.

With that being said, coping through early labor was a huge topic yesterday.  The instructor kept going on about the support person and how important it is be calm, reassuring and assist the laboring mom however is needed. She also warned us that in labor smells, sounds, and annoyances become heightened.

Conversation Between B and I. 
B-so no picking my toes, fingers, no breathing on you, no throat clearing
Me- basically you shouldn't be the support person, there are a lot of don'ts already


Later in the class the instructor was talking about how during transition the "support" person should not ever leave the mothers side.  Not to pee, eat, sleep, drink ect.

Conversation #2 
B- so if I'm hungry who's going to make my food
me- probably not me, I doubt I will be getting out of the tub to fix you a frigging sandwich


Apparently visualizing labor and birth can make a huge impact on labor progress. We got homework to practice visualizing and relaxing for in-between contractions. Rewards after contractions such as touch, affection or praise can really boost the laboring moms energy and relaxation.

Conversation #3
B- do you want a cookie after each contraction
me- no, do you want me to smack you?
B- How about conversations hearts, you love those
me- still no, how about no food, no touching and you keep stupid comments to yourself, that should work great




Conversation #4 
B- how are you going to relax
me- I will figure it out
B- do you know how?
me- obviously not, I'm not a relaxed person, not even a little bit
B- you should really start thinking about relaxing


Fast forward to evening

B shouting from the bathroom. " I'm going to visualize, relax and get this process moving"
Seriously he is comparing having a baby to taking a shit. In his expert opinion they are practically the same. Good to know it works people.  That is the way we do it around here.  Make light of every situation and go with the flow.  On the upside I know he listened in class, I got to hear the whole demonstration again......

School Is In

Last night started the 1st of 6 weekly birth classes.  Unlike the waterbirth class this was actually informative and highly entertaining.

These classes always start the same. Everyone introducing ourselves and saying why we choose the birth center, how many kids we have blah blah blah.  B and I have a rather boring story and are usually chosen first to share no matter where we end up sitting.

We actually learned more than I expected.  B was actually involved in class- big shocker from our last one.

I have lots on the agenda today. Chiropractor appointment- this baby has one more week to move into permanent head down position.
Baby check up- this ought to be fun considering I haven't weighed myself in 3 weeks.
Haircut- time to get my mommy do done.  These poor locks have been over due for a cut an color.

I could squeal in excitement over my mom coming and the baby shower this weekend.

Weekly Catch up

I can't believe its been another week.  After not blogging for a week its time to update everyone on the weekly happenings. 

The in-laws arrived safely. 

C and I went antique shopping and scored some awesome finds. 

We have had two get togethers with extending family. (awesome food!)

B and I had a double date with the in-laws to the movies.

A serious game of monopoly unfolded saturday night.  The one who never wants to play always wins. 

Sunday brought on a serious case of swelling, it has yet to leave despite using all the "tricks". 

This week there is lots going on as well. 

Mom comes to town. 

Friends fly in for the baby shower. 

More birth class this week. 

Baby Shower. 

Finishing the nursery. 

Catching up on sleep. 

I have tons of pictures to post, I will get to them I promise.  As for my 32 week picture, I look the same as last week just more swollen.  

Crunch Time

The B and D Inn is opening for business, that means I'm busy.  Unfortunately my lazy mornings of drinking coffee and looking at dust bunnies are over.

Today I have pillows to fluff, garbage cans to empty, and pantries to stock full of food.

Lupita is back full force.  Since the dishwasher went poof all dishes must be washed by hand.  The vacuum is also acting up, lucky me.

Lucky for the guests I have had two generations of pro hostess teachings to make this run smoothly.

I would love to stay and chat but I have two hundred things on my "list" today.

In the future

This weekend was Easter. The only holiday I don't decorate for.  Apparently I have been doing good at prepping B for outrageous and annoying decorations because he kept asking if I was feeling ok.  There were no eggs, bunnies, chicks or fake grass anywhere in our house. In fact I still have shamrocks up for B's favorite holiday and red heart tinsel on the chandelier for valentines day.

Anywho, my mom did such an outstanding job when we were kids making Easter baskets essential that I still have a need for them.  This year B and I had our second Easter and we had baskets. It was perfect.

Sunday we went to the Cousin's and B hid eggs for the kids. I watched.  We ate and gave the kids there Easter baskets. We had a perfect day.

B played repair man and got the spare bathroom working, changed the faucets and got other plumber stuff. The house is officially ready to be B and D Inn minus the cleaning I have to get done.  What a huge relief to have it finished before quests get here and not during the visit.



Earlier in the year I posted about everyone getting engaged between Christmas and Valentines day. Everyday someone was getting the question popped to them from celebrities to friends and even family.  At our house we do things differently.....

On Saturday B and I officially got engaged an in the future we will get married ring.

There it is. 

I would love to share the story of how it happened but that can wait for another day.  

For those of you that are puzzled and looking up the definition of engagement to see if its changed, it hasn't.  It still means a formal commitment to get married at a later date, in the FUTURE. Leave it to B to not be like everyone else :)

FYI for everyone that has already asked or planning on asking: We don't know when the wedding is other than sometime in the FUTURE.

DownHill

Holy mother F'er, we are into the single digit count downs.  B asked me yesterday why I "cooked" him so quickly.  Its already friday again too, which means last week flew by even faster than the week before.

Since waterbirth class was such a hit, I have confirmed our 6 week class that starts on the 17th.  Meaning I will be ready to pop when its over, super scary.

In honor of my mom coming to town, I scored us 4 boxes of brown and serves for free by doubling my store and manufactures coupons.  I also gave a coupon 101 lecture to my little sis on how to start saving tons of money at the store.

Since I have been couponing like a mad woman. I have quite the stockpile of food. It makes me super excited to open the pantry and see the rows and rows of edible goodness.  The only problem is the freezer is only so big, and is partially being used as a liquor cooler.  I requested a deep freeze to unleash the coupon craze as well as have a place to put the boob juice once Bean gets here.

Nesting has gotten out of control. I have the pantry organized by product and in F.I.F.O rotation. (first in first out) The freezer is packed full of already portioned dinners. I bleached the spare bathroom the other day because it just looked dirty.  I have organized Bean's closet and dresser a thousand times.  I really want to go and organize the garage but don't want to fight the spiders.  Who knew the top of the microwave hadn't been clean since it was installed? Well now its spotless, and so is the stove the knobs and grease fan.

I finally gave into a craving on the way to birthclass and had spicy cornuts.  They were delicious, instant heartburn though.  Emergency pit stop to get tums, after half the roll I could stop groaning.  Follow that with Taco Hell for dinner and my night was over.  No amount of tums or zantac could put this fire out.  It took over 24 hours to get that fire put out, I will not be eating either food choices until after Bean gets here.

31 weeks, back to transverse position

Proof that my cat is not normal!
 

Water Birth Class

B and I have been scheduled to take this class since the first week of March.  That is a lot of time for anticipation to build up. With that being said knowing I'm overly Type A as well as an over achiever I pretty much trumped the class.


Since getting pregnant I read and read thinking it would make me more prepared. I can't say for sure since Bean isn't here, but I have learned a lot and forced B to learn with me.  I have turned countless friday nights into movie premiers to get B to watch babies being born and understand what happens in labor.

So a few days before class I was getting excited and freaking out about what to wear and what to bring ect ect.  The anxiety of not having instructions prior to going was not cool.  Come to find out all we had to do was sit and watch.


We arrive like eager beavers ahead of time (heaven forbid being late to such an important thing).  There was another couple and one lady attending besides us.  A lady comes in tells us the pros about water birth,  the history of water birth and then says we are going to watch a movie.

There isn't quite a way to describe the tension once the nakedness appears on t.v.  Awkward is a mediocre  way of describing it but will do.  There is nothing like watching full nudity births with people you've never met.

In conclusion since I had already researched and watched making class uninformative. Boo
However we did get the chance to experience the super awesome russian video with other people, ranking it up there with learning about sex ed in school.

Daily Conversation

Becoming pregnant has ruined my brain. It has taken it with a vengeance making it extremely difficult to function without writing down what I'm going to do before doing it.  I walk into a room 3-4 times and still have no clue what I was about to do.  B on the other hand turns to mush when he comes home.  He uses his brain power all day and once I get to see him he is off in lala land.  Making the two of us together a perfect redundant duo.

Yesterday I got Bean more clothes.  I can't resist, it just happens and the stuff was on sale.

I put said clothes away and discover this kid had no shoes and no pants. He does have enough socks and shirts to clothe a daycare though.

B gets home and I ask him is we need pants to go with all these shirts.  His response " why are you even dressing him? By the time he poops and your boobs milk him he will have to be changed" " naked is the way to go, no more clothes"


Me- I need to get your easter stuff together but here is one thing, Its going to rip the bag. (new bbq scrapper).
B- Ok thanks, I didn't get you anything for easter
Me- I know good thing its sunday and not tonight
B- How bout the "pearl" is your present
Me- How bout no, but good try


We have had the Easter conversation at least ten times. Constant repetition of when is Easter, where is Easter and whose house are we going is less annoying when I literally can't remember myself.

Next Easter is going to be the shit, I'm already thinking about how to make Bean's first real live Easter better than ever.  B better get to making the rabbit and chicken coups now because this kid is getting both. Since Bean is already practicing being a genius he ought to remember next Easter for the rest of his life and be able to tell everyone about it.

D-day

As the weeks keep ticking by, delivery is getting closer and closer.  With less than 10 weeks to go its starting to really freak me the F out.  I keep dreaming about it too, which makes the anxiety worse.

I wish I could say it was the pain that scared me, but its not.  I feel very strongly about having a natural delivery.  The thought of a c-section can practically make me physically ill.  I guess its the finality of it that makes me anxious.  He HAS to come out, there are no other options.

I have seen dogs, cats, and farm animals give birth like its no big deal.  I have watched countless baby stories and birth videos, but OMG! really I have to push that out.

Back when I was a kid my sister had pregnant barbie.  That plastic bitch has it made, the belly just pops off giving her a baby and a six pack.  I could car less about the six pack but being able to open a trap door to my womb and take Bean would be awesome.

We start birth classes on wednesday.  Hopefully that will set my mind at ease. I am considering videoing our session since I can't rely on pregnancy brain to document anything these days.

Happy Monday. I am off to the gym in celebration of breaking up with the couch.