Tidbits

I was filing birth homework and decided to read some of B's questions.  One of them caught me off guard and I almost pee'd my pants.
Q: What are your fears about birth?
B: I'm afraid she will rush the birth and not be patient! 


Reverting back to a previous post about being a great parent and pet owner until you actually have to do it, Well I'm here to say I suck already.

People often question B and I when we say "one and done".  They tell us we don't even know what its like to be parents and the joy of having children.  In my opinion the homeless dude is saying that about his crack, "just try it, you don't even know how good it is".

So we have 1 dog and 1 cat, making it 2 against 2.  As the humans we have no control. We are on an even playing field with the furry critters and they know it!

Exhibit 1- ace goes into our bedroom when we leave, coon gets the run of the house.  Sometimes coon lets ace out just to spite us. So saturday night coon waited patiently outside of our room until we left to let ace out. ( I told B as we were leaving that ace would be free when we came home. Sure as shit that cat let his brother out)

They tag team us already. If one starts misbehaving then the other one starts in.  The fight over food, toys, attention ect.  There is no way in hell we are having two kids! The one already rules this house and he is still in my womb!

Today I have another prenatal appointment. They will say, "wow your still small", " still no weight gain", " your measuring small again". Since I know all the answers, I just want to skip it.  More than reassuring these appointments are boring and redundant.

B has returned in parrot form, lucky me.......
---- have you made your birth playlist? (asked 50+ times this weekend)
----have you written the birth plan? ( asked 50+ times)
----- how are you planning on relaxing
---- where did your belly button go? ( could have punched him for this one)

My favorite comment from this weekend is-B " I can't wait until this pregnancy is over, it has been really hard"

My reply " what has been so hard for you? Are you the one who is pregnant? Long pause with no response..... my point exactly!