The Cut

Todays topic is highly controversial and causes many arguments.  With this being my blog, I have the right to post my opinions freely!  For those with boys, circumcision is a choice that has to be made.  Before we even found out if Bean was a boy B and I discussed options.  Some of my readers may feel that this is an inappropriate topic and is no ones business.  However I disagree. Much like homebirth, the options regarding circumcision are not discussed.  As a parent it is my job to put my son first, to make well informed decisions about his well being.  With that being said lets begin.

The first question, what is circumcision?

circumcisingpresent participle of cir·cum·cise (Verb)

Verb:

Cut off the foreskin of (esp. a baby) esp. as a religious rite. Cut off the clitoris, and sometimes the labia, of (a girl or young woman) as a traditional practice among some peoples.

Notice that not only does it apply to sons, it also applies to daughters.  Much to america's dismay female circumcision is still routinely preformed in India and other eastern countries.  Preforming this procedure on a female is down right ridiculous and seen as grounds for body activists to go crazy.  Yet for sons it is common place.  How is that fair, equal or less painful because the "majority" have it done?

The second question, Why is circumcision preformed?

Because it's not usually medically needed, circumcision is done on newborns mainly for cultural reasons. For example, parents may make the decision about circumcision based on religious and family traditions, personal preferences, or the social norms of their communities.


Based solely on the reason above, circumcision is not necessary for Bean since neither B nor I have any religious background.  Mainly Judaism, where circumcision is still done but not required.  With no religious reason pertaining to our situation, why would I subject my son to unnecessary torture?


The third question, Is this a painful procedure?


Circumcision is a surgical procedure that involves forcefully separating the foreskin from the glans and then cutting it off. It is typically accomplished with a special clamp device . Over a dozen studies confirm the extreme pain of circumcision. It has been described among the most painful [procedures] performed in neonatal medicine.  In one study, researchers concluded that the pain was severe and persistent.  Increases in heart rate of 55 beats per minute have been recorded, about a 50 percent increase over the baseline. After circumcision, the level of blood cortisol increased by a factor of three to four times the level prior to circumcision. Investigators reported, This level of pain would not be tolerated by older patients.


I would conclude that it is indeed painful.  It is not just a snip of the skin, it is forcefully removing skin by separating layers of glands and nerves.  To anyone considering this I beg you to watch a video on circumcision. 


Before hearing the news that Bean was a boy, I thought all boys had this done.  In fact only around 54% of males are circumcised now compared to 91% in the 1970's.  WOrld wide, 80% of males are uncircumcised.  After hours of research, too many medical videos and documentaries, we have chosen to keep Bean intact.  It is his right to choose should he want this awful procedure done in the future.  There is no religious or medical reason that proves this is necessary.  Until there is actual proof to justify this inhumane torture, my boys will be uncut!

The Bump

Its growing like a weed.  This last week I have noticed that the "bump" no longer disappears sometime between 10pm and 8am when I wake up.  According to the experts, "I've popped", according to me I just feel fat.  I guess the over eaten belly has been replaced by a baby bump.  I'm not gonna lie, it looks weird and feels even weirder.  Baby Bean is a movin' in there too.  I feel him a lot now, especially at night.  He has already grown to about the size of a large avocado.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that something so small can effect everything I do.

I have been trying to get Coon and Ace ready for our new addition and I must say that Ace is failing.  To him kids are like sheep, he herds them and tries to bite them.  He has also started biting me more, over food and toys.  He has become quite the little ass.  This worries me because I can't change the fact that he is a herding dog, nor can I change the fact that he has an awful little dog temperament.  He was always such a good boy, now he doesn't listen worth a crap.  Bean will have to learn not to mess with his big brother, or else...... I think Ace is mostly jealous that he is no longer my number 1.

Speaking of jealousy.  It is amazing how some people react with such hurt an anger out of jealousy.  While B and I sit back and laugh.  It pains me to know that some can not handle others happiness.  Just because we chose to have a baby, that makes B an awful person.  Wait? what? ..... Yes, people actually have said awful things just form being jealous.  I thought we were adults and could handle our feelings appropriately.  Apparently not, so while you sit stuck in the 7th grade we are going to continue moving on.

My least favorite holiday is coming up.  New years, that calls for stupid partying and too much drinking. Nothing good comes from new years.  Resolutions are made just to be broken or forgotten about.  People drink and drive, accidents happen and people get hurt.  B make be the grinch of christmas, but I am by far the worst grinch of new years.  So here is to two days left of 2011, and 365 left of 2012.

Sleeping

Two average size adults can fit in a queen bed easily.  One average adult, one pregnant adult, and a preggle pillow DO NOT fit in a queen size bed.  Admittedly it is my fault, I can't get comfortable no matter what position I try.  The pillow has increased my comfort level ten fold, the only downside is its the size of a person.  While the comfort level has been addressed, there is still a position problem.

While being pregnant there are too many rules. For instance sleeping recommendations for a pregnant woman are : sleep on the left side allowing maximum blood flow to fetus and allows gas to expel the boy easiest.  The problem with that is that it sucks.  I was a side sleeper before, now I am a back/stomach sleeper. A big No No for preggos. Laying on my back seems to be heaven, no boobs are squished, my beached whale of a belly is not compromised and my new pillow provides excellent neck support.  The downside is constantly feeling guilty for feeling comfortable while compromising Bean.  Sleeping on my stomach seems to stop things from growing for a moment and the pressure subsides the aching boobs.  I have ultimately decided to give the finger to sleep recommendations.  A man probably decided this rule and has no idea what it is like to sleep.

On the topic of sleeping, B actually registered for a co-sleeper.  I am particularly excited about this.  I had never breached the subject before, as I had already asked for a homebirth and cloth diapers.  While in babies-r-us, we go down the sleeping isle and B clicks away at a co-sleeper bed.  I ask him if he knows what it is, and explain that Bean would be sleeping in between us.  He claims he knows and thinks its going to be much easier.  We will be able to see him and make sure he is ok.  In the future I can foresee a problem getting Bean out of bed with us but for now I think Its sweet that B actually had an input on something.

The Replacements

So Christmas is over, the radio goes back to normal, people no longer crowd the stores and holiday cheer disappears.  In my case is disappeared for B the second I received the preggie pillow from my mom.

While getting ready for bed I over hear B having a conversation with Ace.  Keep in mind Ace is a dog.  So B is telling Ace that remember how he felt when mommy brought home Coon? Well thats called being replaced.  B then says " mommy got that pillow so I might as well go sleep in the other room".  Mean while I am quietly laughing over the ridiculousness unfolding in my bedroom.  Skip ahead ten minuets or so.....
B-" are you really bringing that thing to bed with you?"
Me- " Yea, its a pillow, where else should I use it?"
B-" do you still need your other pillow?"
Me-" Yes,"
B-" well I guess i will go sleep in the spare room"
Me-" Your a drama queen, get over yourself, its a pillow.  Your telling me your jealous over a pillow?"
B-" I can't put my leg here anymore, I'm not comfortable"

Moral of this story is that I am in pregnant heaven, B is miserable.  Too bad because this thing rocks.  I could probably catch him snuggled up to it if I left it unattended.

The arrow is in leu of " I'm a boy"

My main post today is about Bean.  Bean is officially a boy.  After keeping a secret for 5 days, this is the last place to share the news.

We get the appointment early, I fell like my insides are going to fall out.  The machine gets turned on, I get comfortable on the table thingy.  I tell B, if this ones a girl we are trying for more.  The tech finds Bean, we hear the heartbeat and see his face.  Then she goes in for the goods, I remember the room going silent as we held our breathe waiting to hear.  The tech said "it's a boy". I started crying and shaking from excitement.  I kept asking her if she was sure, like 100% and then some.  She assured me that it was in fact a boy.  B replied, "one and done!".  I think I was so happy I was in shock.  All the way home I just kept saying "I can't believe it".

So much for needing to come to grips with having a girl.  We wanted a boy and we got a boy! I have to say even though in the beginning I wanted to wait to know the gender, I wouldn't change it now.  I'm not quite sure who is more excited that its a boy.  Both sides of our family couldn't be happier, and B has this glow about him now ( he kinda walks around like a puffed up chicken).

I can't believe my next check up marks almost 18 weeks.  Its time to start planning the baby shower, and  get my ass in gear about Bean's nursery.

Two Days

Ears, Eyes and Nose

Until I spill the Beans on Bean.  Thanks to Sarah, I can now hear Bean when I want.  These fetal doppler things are awesome.  I attempted to take a video of the heartbeat, Bean is camera shy and would not cooperate.   Pictures will have to do for now. Stay tuned for a blog about choices.

Bean Waving

Healthy Heartbeat

Whoa Belly 

Its a ....

For those of you coming here to find out what it is I'm afraid I won't be posting until after Christmas.  What I can say is that someone very special to me does know.  In a way it was out of respect, love and forgiveness.  A secret that this person and I could share first.  As for the rest of my friends and family that keep pestering to get it out of me, I will not crack!

Bean is healthy and thriving that is what is important.  I will post pictures, tons of pictures soon. So as for now, we are still having a baby.  Later he or she will make an announcement.

We also received a christmas package from my parents yesterday.  It sits under the tree as a fill in scratching post a teether for Coon.  If I was the betting kind I would say Coon will have in unwrapped by tomorrow.

After our appointment we came home to eight deer in the yard.  They are so beautiful, its so mean people kill them in there own yards.  Ace chooses to chase them, making it harder for us to catch them eating.

Christmas has been canceled at our house due to Brandon the scrooge.  Christmas cards have been moved to the office and chain calling will begin sunday morning with the news of Bean.  Lame I know! It resulted in having a screaming match with myself, crying and a refusal to say sorry.  These hormones could seriously pack up and go.  B is asking for the normal me to return sooner than later.

Calm before the Storm

I wasn't sure where to begin with todays post.  These past few days I have been filled with so many thoughts and emotions. I apologize for the random rambling. Tomorrow is the day that will change our lives forever.  While we have bonded to Bean and already love him or her, tomorrow will bring a new connection.  The ability to call Bean by a name just makes everything more real.  I have tried to prepare myself for either outcome, while my heart cries out for a son.  Before anyone feels like judging me, go stick it where the sun don't shine.  While a healthy baby is what is important, I can't help but feel drawn to one direction. 

I am so sick of everyone telling me that they never wanted one sex over the other, I call Bull!  Its only natural to want things in life.  I just choose to express my feelings instead of being ashamed.  Why do people think that just because I WANT a boy, doesn't mean I WON'T love a girl.  The reveal of Bean will happen on Christmas.  While I hate secrets and can't stop raving about Bean, B and I need to enjoy the news as a family.  

Another thing that is starting to irritate me is the constant looks to my ring finger.  I have posted on this topic before but need to vent before I bitch slap someone.  Once again, why do people think that babies can only be made if you have metal on your finger and paper on the wall? We have both been there and done that.  Being married is not a priority, loving each other and living a happy life are.  

Some say that in tragedy there is always a deeper meaning, sometimes even a silver lining.  For those that know anything about my past, in three short weeks it will be 1 year since the incident.  Thats something worth posting about but not now.  For those that are in the dark, here is a theory I use to explain the situation- when looking at an ice berg it is easy to judge by whats seen, not the massive berg that remains hidden under the water.  Some thought I was a cold heartless bitch, others supported my choice and people I thought were friends disappeared.  This year has been anything but easy, I chose to make the best of it instead of wallow is selfless pity.  

My silver lining was the ability to regain relationships that had been broken and lost.  In part I owe a thank you to my little sister who had the courage to talk when I didn't.  To my parents for being there when I needed them most, for the ability to bridge over the ocean below.  Had it not been for the incident, who knows how long the not talking streak would have continued.  I am so grateful for the friendship that we have now, I couldn't imagine going one week without talking to them. 

In the midst of being at my absolute worst I was able to fall in-love with someone who took me for what I was.  I was loved for me, all the broken pieces of me at that.  And here we are making a life with each other, something that was out of the picture before. 

The part that really gets me is that now that things have turned over a leaf there is all this distance.  I want Bean to know our families.  Besides B and I everyone lives in different states.  Its hard not to get choked up about how to make holidays and birthdays will work when we live across the country.  I wish that my mom lived across town and I could go visit.  I wish that my Nana could meet her great-granchild.  I wish B's mom and grandma could be here to see us.  I want my sister to be the awesome aunt that feeds Bean sugar and gets the noisy drum-set.  Things are different when family is separated by miles instead of arguments.  For once I actually get why family is so important.  

By far this post is possibly the longest yet.  It will most likely have many parts to follow.  For all you readers, get the tissues...... These hormones are going to get the best of all involved.  I'm off to go make nuggets, a family recipe that my dad taught me years ago.  I can't believe its been well over a year since I made them last. 

Comparisons

5 Weeks 

15 weeks

Attitude Adjustment

An update from earlier.  I ended up having a fabulous hair day, and I wore maternity jeans.  While both seem insignificant a good do and a plump looking arse make a frown turn upside down.  I ended up having a great day.

Mom's group was great, I ate cookies and pizza. Major score!

Five days till Bean makes a gender reveal.

I've gained 1.5 pounds which means bye bye food log!

I got more diapers in the mail, and more on the way!

Dark Cloak

I hate dreams, bad dreams suck.  They are like a big ol' wool coat that is hot and sticky.  I'm already starting my day off wrong.  Ugh, F you stupid dream.  Today ought to just ice the cake for my bullshit attitude.  Sorry for being a Negative Nelly today but thats how I woke up.

PPD and Placentas

Gross title I know, what I am considering is far worse.  Way back at our first doctors appointment I asked what they did with the placenta after delivery.  I was given three options.
1. Keep it
2. Eat it/ encapsulate it
3. Give it to the midwife

At first I was just disgusted that people actually choose to keep there placentas in the freezer and then take it out after a year and plant it.  A tradition like keeping the top of your wedding cake.  This was not an option for B as the thought of getting into the freezer and seeing the placenta would make him loose his cookies.  I was concerned about it taking up space.  Not to mention we don't have a tree or anything to plant it with, and what if we move somewhere down the road?  Do we have to tell the realtor there is bio-hazard waste buried on the property?

Second option of eating it.  My first thought was no freaking way, I am not a dog or cat or any other type of creature that eats the remains.  I was throughly grossed out by the thought of putting "that" back into my body after just expelling it.  My midwife also told me about encapsulation.  Basically drying it out, crushing it and putting it in pill form.  Not as gross but still visually disturbing.  The more I thought about it and did research there actually are remarkable benefits of eating the placenta after birth.  I suppose thats why all mammals have been eating it for centuries.  Technically humans are mammals, and therefore the benefits it gives fluffy it should give me!  I got upset by people judging me for my birthing choices so I figured I should stop being a hoity-toity when it cam to being " too good" to eat that.  I must push past my comfort zone and at least try it, if it doesn't work I can stop taking it.  I have seen what postpartum depression can do to people and its ugly.  I will try anything to stay away from the "baby blues".

The third choice of giving it away seemed like a perfect idea at first.  No mess, no looking at it, and no eating it.  That however was my rash decision before doing my research.  I am also weird about sharing, I flat out hate to share.   Meaning its my placenta, I grew it and you can't have it for no other reason than its mine.  What an awesome example I will be able to set for Bean.  I worked hard to keep it inside and healthy for 10 months and to just give it away seems crazy.  So because I am too selfish I could not give away Bean's life support.

http://placentamom.weebly.com/ This website was quite interesting.  I will continue my journey in researching and coming to grips with eating my own placenta. This ought to just throw some of my skeptics into a tisy hehe!

Food Log

Food log

Friday dec 9th 

coffe 2 cups 

hot and sour soup 1 bowl

1/2 cheese french bread pizza 

3 cookies 

granola bar 

banana 

bread

salad

stuffed mushrooms

lobster 

steak 

baked potato

3 L water 

Saturday dec 10th 

Coffee

egg

bacon 3 pieces

1 pancake

1 glass of O.J

1 pbj sandwich whole grain bread

1 cup hot cocoa 

1 chocolate chip cookie 

tater tots

4 chicken wings

1 scoop ice cream

Sunday dec 11th

coffee

cinnamon rolls

calzone

cheetos

grilled cheese

lime juice bar 

oj 

3 L water

Monday dec 12th

coffee

cheese crackers

california roll with brown rice 

mac and cheese 

cheetos 

lime juice bar 

beef stroganoff 

french bread with butter 

Tuesday dec 13th 

coffee 

oatmeal 

2 hotdogs

So I have been instructed to make a food long since I am not gaining enough weight.  I would consider it a fail. My lack of fruits and veggies is way to apparent, not to mention the abundance of sugar and processed crab.  Its official I am lacking in my ability to be a good nutritious host.  Bean I am terribly sorry that I have not fueled you with the proper foods, however at least I am putting something in my mouth.  Also in my food log I have chosen to leave out that cheetos actually mean the whole bag, and lime juice bars mean the whole box.  Even though I am being diligent in my logging although not 100 percent accurate I am trying.  I'm pretty sure that after my log has been reviewed by the food police I will be locked up for sure.  

Wishbone

Since B is not into holidays I figured its time to start practicing before Bean comes.  For Thanksgiving, I wanted to break the wishbone.  Our first attempt ended in failure.  Instead of breaking it just sprung back into place.  I should have taken that as a sign..... A week later after the bone had throughly dried out we tried again.
 
We both grabbed our ends, I explained the rules: both people make a wish, the longer side wins.  Ready, set, go... B wins.
I asked him if he had a good wish, his reply " actually I didn't wish at all".

Of course he didn't wish, why would he? I failed to mention to him that I didn't wish either.  The fact that I didn't wish is irrelevant since I didn't win. My attempts of bringing holiday tradition to our family continue to fall through.

Rewind to Easter, I did not get an Easter basket even though I begged and pleaded.
Halloween, we did not dress up, decorate, or hand out candy.
Christmas, no presents, a naked tree, no lights or decorations and the thought of Santa coming is pure insanity.

I have a lot of work ahead of me before Bean gets here.  I am determined to give Bean the best holiday experiences ever.  Move over Mister Scrooge, its time to get in the holiday spirit!

Baby Update

Bean sucking on toes 

Bean sucking on fingers, look at that full belly 

To my great surprise we got to see Bean last night. He just keeps growing and growing.  

 

       Bean was dancing all around, a shot of  the legs  kicking

Yesterday I got scolded for many things.  First my food intake which is no where near enough and then for my posture.   Yes according to the way I sit and stand that could be causing my back aches.  Great! so now I have to make a food journal of everything I eat for a week straight.  This should be interesting and lead to more scolding as I eat a lot of garbage as well as coffee.  Bean was over active at last nights scan, it leads me to the conclusion her likes ice cream just as much as me!  

For any with a squeamish stomach the post ends here for you.  Continue at your own risk.  I actually had questions at this appointment, shocking enough since I think I am a know it all about something ( I read too much).  Anyways so I asked my questions and got some pretty unique answers, ones that were not in the book.  I asked about how to get my plumbing back on a regular cycle, it has been all kinds of screwed since getting preggo.  After going through all different types of food to encourage movement, we settled on just relaxing.  So I am supposed to sit in the bathroom, relax, meditate and just let it happen.  Really???? Meditate???? No way, I'm and in and out kinda girl, however desperate times call for desperate measures.  

I need to be adding more veggies and "good" food to my diet and start correcting my bad habits now.  I also need to get my growing  ass off my couch and start walking again.  So I have many lofty goals to attend to, I must get going.  One last picture since its friday.....

When capturing todays picture I managed to get a frumpy cottage cheese butt! Awesome

12 day countdown

Yesterday when confirming my prenatal appointment I asked my midwife if we could peek at Bean again and make a guess at gender.  She said no, I was crushed.  I even pulled the christmas card out saying it was so important that we know now.  She did not give in to my begging and pleading.  So it stays that we won't find out until the 20th as planned.

Last night I had a dream that Bean was a boy.  Yes I have had dreams that Bean was a girl but this one was different.  I was realizing that all the diapers we have are boy colors, we mainly refer to Bean as a he and are planning the nursery in a boy theme.  Bean, if you are a girl I do apologize for not having a girly pink princess attitude, its just not in me.

It still bothers me that we don't have girl name picked out.  I am running out of time to prepare for a girl.  I'm not a dress and tea party type of mom.  I would rather be in the dirt than play barbies, so how am I going to avoid the pink and the tutus?

Nothing exciting is happening in the life of growing Bean.  Good things are coming, after 12 days.... Off topic, we have no tree, no lights and not one christmas decoration in the house, welcome to living with a Scrooge :(

Kick-off

So this year we are going to Ocala for kick-off.  A far cry from a ritzy beach hotel or a 5 star affair in Vegas.  We also have the pleasure of the theme being " country ho-down".  How awesome and redneck is that?????  I'm up at night thinking about all the fun we are going to have.... Not!

Wardrobe for this grand event seems to be challenging.  With my growing belly I literally have to find something the day of.  B and I have discussed many options, such as leather fringed jackets with wranglers, bib over-alls and lumber jack red checkered shirts, or my favorite suggested by another field manager to go as white trash ( daisy dukes and a tied up shirt).

The latest update: The presidential suite will be occupied by none other than yours truly.  Yes, some how B is justifying staying in the swanky-est room do to kick-off being so lame.  According to him we are going to make our own party.  Meaning he will be enjoying mass amounts of cocktails and I will be taking advantage of all the photo ops! This should be full of entertainment for those who will remember it. I am excited for all of the perks of our suite, turn down service, complimentary this and complimentary that, now if only they had an on site spa!

Current Countdowns:
Doctor app 1 day
Gender app 13 days
Christmas 18 days
Kick Off 1 month

Advise.... Unsolicited that is

And the advise begins...... Since when do people just say whats on their minds? Has the ability to think with out speaking been forgotten? Or just ignored?  Perhaps both.  When I am in need of advise, I can assure everyone I will ask for it.  Until then, please keep the advise at bay.  

Another thing, it is 2011 almost 2012 people can have babies with out being married.  Unfortunately things fall into a different order than they used to.  It is not uncommon to see parents in committed relationships without being "legally married".  It is rather rude to continue to stare at my left hand while probing for information on my pregnancy.  In todays world being married does not make a baby anymore planned for, loved, or accepted.  Another opportunity to think and not speak.

I am choosing to cloth diaper Bean.  We have chosen this because it works best for our family.  We are not any less of a parent for choosing this option.  For those who have been appalled by choice, perhaps research would benefit narrow minds.  Those skeptics might also be shocked to learn how cost effective, lack of chemicals, and leads to sooner potty training.  Had your mommas taught you to be polite you would not make caddy comments.

Home birth, it may not be for everyone but it is my choice.  I am not dirty, beneath anyone, or poor because I am choosing to have a drama free delivery.  I'm not asking said individuals to have home births themselves just to respect my choice, just as I respect your scheduled c-section or induction.  Just because hospital births are the 'norm" does not make them better.  When did it become common practice for birth to be a race, or a status symbol? I am not a factory, I will have Bean when he/she is ready and not a day sooner.  While I can appreciate everyones thoughts and opinions I will listen politely and carry on.

There are many more instances that have occurred and hundreds to come, by then I hope to think of some really awesome come backs.  I will listen to my instincts first and then consult others if I feel it necessary.

Updates:
No weight gain
Craving sweets like mad
Feeling better
Belly is growing
Bean is the size of a large peach
B rubs and talks to Bean everyday
Nursery furniture is in Bean's room
We will know Bean's sex in 15 days!

Tear Fountain

Usually I can keep myself together, except for when I am super duper mad or pregnant.  I am so embarrassed by my lack of composure.  I know the books warn you about the crazy hormones and mood swings but actually going through them sucks.  Movies that I have seen time and time again cause the tears to run, Ace and Coon playing has just become "too cute" for me to handle, and my ever surging nerves have become much more delicate.

I have tough skin, I don't let people bother me and tend to have an "I'll show you" type attitude.  Until I got pregnant, now I am one messy ball of girly tears.  Heaven forbid my delicate feelings get hurt, cause like any rational adult I call my mother crying telling her its so unfair people are mean to me.  WTF? I would self proclaim myself a momma's girl now since I can't go one day without calling, crying or complaining.

Today I am 13 weeks and Bean is the size of a peach.  When I wake in the mornings I see a glimpse of my old tummy, not flat but not huge.  This morning I had a rude awakening, my blast from the past tummy has turned into permanent bump.  Dumbfounded I tried to suck it in, push it out, anything to move it with NO LUCK! Bean is here to stay.

Ginger

I'm beginning to think about what Bean will look like.  I would bet money that a red-head freckle faced kid emerges.  I am fine with the above thought on one condition, that Bean is NOT a CARROT TOP!  With both B and I having red hair genes we could be in for fire truck red.  See baby to the right, the do has just got to go!  On all other accounts I am excited to see how Bean looks.  Hopefully Bean will be small, easier to push out-(selfish I know).

The workings of the nursery are underway this weekend. I am so excited about this part I could scream.  I want the coolest nursery for Bean.  Boy or girl the theme is chosen.  I will post pictures as soon as progress is made.  Grammie has been enlisted to make it happen.  Mommy says no expense spared, Daddy says "oh boy, here we go".

Today Bean is 13 weeks along, the size of a peach.  Wow it seems like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant.  Nine long weeks have already gone by, twenty seven to go.  Daddy says that Bean will come on fourth of July.  Personally I think he is crazy!!!!! I'm all for letting Bean cook but an extra 3 weeks is insanity.

Things to look forward to:
Mom's group- today
Lunch with Aunt Nancy-today
Baby app dec 8th
Gender Reveal dec 20th
Christmas 24th-26th ( extra days since B is off )
Snap-On kick off jan
Bret and Christina visiting jan-whenever
I'm sure there is more but thats enough to keep me busy for awhile.

Creativity or lack there of .......

I unlike my mother do not have the crafty gene.  I can not draw or color let alone design a room.  I remember all these years ago when my mom made my sisters room so unique and different.  B and I decided on a dresser, changing table and rocker.  Thanks to a dear friend we got them for an absolute steal!!! My dilemma is that we still don't know if bean is a bull or a heifer, making it difficult to finish the nursery.

The pieces we have chosen are cream and perfect for gender neutral themes.  I already feel bad if bean is a girl, there will be no princess pink themed garb here.  Ultimately I have to find a way to tie in cream, brown, light oak, white and green.  Fortunately for me the perfect solution is a cow skin rug under the crib.

See how wonderful it is????? If you don't its fine I won't take offense because it is not a typical nursery theme.  I personally just have a love for cows, and I have always wanted an awesome rug.   Another piece of info that might be helpful in visualizing the space, there are currently two large bass, a set of horns, a HUGE tackle box and fishing rods in the room.  My goal is for bean to be a boy and to have an awesome Bass Pro Shop type room!  I'm excited just thinking about it.


I have the idea, however putting it all together is not my forte.  Meaning that one lucky family member will be assisting in production while I eat cupcakes.  See picture to the right -------->
That would just be so awesome, no boy would be ashamed of that room.  Bean if you are a girl, the room idea will most likely be the same.

Off topic I would like to publicly apologize to B for suffering through two hours of Pregnant in America.  While it was informative, it was boring and way too long.  Because said boring movie was so long we didn't even watch Hart of Dixie last night, that is B's favorite show, do not judge!  Continuing off topic, I feel great, no more sickness.  Still slightly tired and no appetite but I will take that over all day sickness.  Enjoy the week everyone......

Black Friday

My original plan was to attempt the crowds and get some baby stuff.  My actually plan ended up being sleep.  I woke up at nine and my first thought was " oh shit I missed black friday" my second thought " I guess I can go back to sleep".  So once again black friday wins and I loose.

Thanksgiving is over and now the countdown to Christmas begins.  I will not be making turkey, maybe a ham or pizza? Something I will actually eat.  After spending countless hours pre-planning thanksgiving I managed to forget to bake the rolls, over cook the turkey( partially because B insisted there was crispy skin), and only offer myself dessert.  Even with the mishaps we had a wonderful day.  Next year the boys are requesting more liquor, that should be interesting.  I managed to send most of my left-overs out the door, no turkey hash here!

We have 26 days until we find out what kind of bean is growing, I get more impatient every day.  Bean is now slightly bigger than a lime.  Our next appointment isn't for two more weeks :(  My newest obsession is cloth diapers, I am constantly biding on them, buying them or attempting to get them from other moms.  Also on my to do list is furniture and other storage for Beans things.  Even though I have time it seems like June will be here before I know it.

Still no weight gain even with the cookies and cakes! Pre-prego jeans fit somedays still.  Craving sweets and more sweets.

Parenting102

Earlier this week I posted about parenting, actually I believe it was yesterday but anywho.  On our way home from dinner I asked B if he had given any more thought as to how he would like to parent.  Typical male response " no I haven't thought about it".  I calmly replied with " ok, let me give you an example"...( honest I did respond like that, no bitchy mean dig either).  My example went like this " a mom is having trouble with her son who keeps biting.  He bites for fun and when reprimanded he laughs and bites more.  This said mom can not stop her son from biting, she has tried every approach in the book.  Said mom walks in on son and dad playing, dad is biting son.   Whether it is in play or the dads idea of showing the kid I'm not sure, but the message is clear: One parent is the rule breaker and one is the rule setter." After the brief story B somewhat understood what point I was trying to make and agreed to go to the nice mommy school if I liked it.

I think that is one of my biggest fears about parenting.  I want to be the cool mom but have the Bean understand that I am a parent too.  These days it seems like one parent tries to keep order and the other is just another rule breaking kid.  Is it too much to ask for the parents to be on the same page? I can already see the Bean being grounded me saying no to an activity and B saying sure go ahead and go.  His discipline or lack there of works well for him but not for structuring a home.  This is something we must work on.

On a lighter note, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and everything is made but the stinkin turkey! I thought that being pregnant on thanksgiving was going to be awesome and I would actually eat.  I was wrong, I feel like I have been eating it though osmosis.  I just want sweets.  Every night I complain that I want a cake. B does not give into these preggo rants and says too bad.  I ate a sleeve of cookies yesterday! I also have more desserts for tomorrow than sides.  Awesome for me, sucks for the boys.  Everyone have a safe and happy holiday.

Parenting 101

So since joining the Crunchy Moms Group, I have been invited to parenting seminars.  One I think this is awesome, two I will be honest and say I need it.  For those that know me in a day to day setting I do not have a role model mouth.  Dear Aunt Nancy has never heard so many fowl words before.  While I don't try to be be down right nasty, I have a habit of speaking my mind.  For everyones sake hopefully this class will teach me to be nice. 


As so as I became pregnant I started thinking about parenting and how I was going to go about being strict with boundaries yet have a home full of love.  B is the care free relaxed one who never gets upset.  He never yells and has more patience than anyone I know.  To this day I have only heard him say the F word a handful of times.  I on the other hand would have already said F*** before thinking of a word to replace it.  I have an awful mouth, a temper and little to zero patience even when I'm really trying.  I'm really not the soft and fuzzy mom that I want to be, so time to go to mommy school.  


B and I were generally raised the same.  We both have work ethic, responsible, contributing members to society ect.  So the foundation of what we want our child to be is the same, the way we get there is different.  Back to the differences of the first and second child for a moment.  As the first child I was independent, focused on excelling, I wanted to do it right the first time every time.  Leading to frustration because not everything is perfect the first time around... I get it now! B on the other hand had no rules, was loved and encouraged to have fun as a kid. So even in relaxed parenting, successful children are raised.  Two people, two paths, same outcome.  I want the second path for Bean. 


As I mentioned before I am the mom who would use the phrase " what the F happened" before I could calmly ask Bean why something happened.  For B and the Bean, I want to be better.  I want to change my mean judging side into a calm understanding one.  In mommy school I will be learning attachment parenting.....The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others.


Hopefully this will help and I will learn some great things.  The more I read and the more I learn I really want to parent with love rather than authority and anger.  Granted Bean is not here yet and I have no idea what my job entails and Mom.  Check back when Bean is here I know myself and I'm sure that the F word will always be handy.  I do apologize in advance Bean, I do want to be nice and gentle, and I am working on it.  Be patient and I promise I will be the best mommy I can be. 

Belly Flips

Call me crazy but I think I felt Bean last night.  All the critics will say there is no way and it was gas.  I know my body and I know what gas pains are, not what I felt.  If I wasn't driving it would have stopped me in my tracks.  It felt like I went up a big hill and came back down real quick.  Right below my belly-button there was this quick somersault feeling and then it was over.  I felt it once more and then it was gone.  It was the most surreal feeling.  I wish there was a way to describe it better, to emphasize how unique and special of a feeling it was.  I can't wait to feel it more often.  

Results of the baking soda test came back girl.  While the test means nothing and is merely a wives tale it was a fun experiment to try.  I am so impatient to find out what we are having.  I have been dreaming that Bean is a girl as well.  Less than month until we find out! 

Happy early Thanksgiving to everyone. I have tons of prep work to do here at our house as well as cooking, cleaning, and storing my own energy.  Technically its already Bean's second holiday.  This week I am also meeting up with another mommy, building my cloth diaper empire as well as celebrating my little sisters 18th birthday.  What a busy busy week, and then black friday! 

Kumquat

So baby is now the size of one of these, which seems so big compared to the ultrasound picture but who am I to judge. The good news is that he/she keeps growing! 

How far along? Depending on what app I use I am between 10 and 11 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: maybe gained 1/2 a pound but its hard to say

Maternity clothes?: wore pre-preg clothes all this week!

Stretch marks? none

Sleep: very difficult, my right arm has been going numb easily making sleeping on my side difficult 

Best moment this week: going to mommy group

Miss Anything?: my old boobs, these new ones are heavy 

Movement: to early still, although my lower belly gets tight in certain spots 

Food cravings: carbs, sugar, salt 

Anything making you queasy or sick: most things 

Gender: not yet

Labor Signs: Negative

Symptoms: nauseous, sore boobs, rounding belly 

Belly Button in or out? in!

Wedding rings on or off?: none

Happy or Moody most of the time: happier this week 

Looking forward to: being able to want to eat again, second trimester, gender scan( far away still) 

Mommy Group

So after five weeks of trying I finally made it to a mommy meeting.  I am so glad I went! It was so nice to be able to talk freely about home birth, cloth diapering and getting our significant others on board.  I met a young mom who brought her 5 week old son, he was so adorable and didn't make a peep the whole six hours we stayed.  Yes, I said six hours! Its supposed to be from 10am to noon, I arrived home at almost 4pm.  I forgot how much I missed being able to converse with other women.

 I was able to see first hand how the cloth diapers work, see the different types in person and hear feed back about what works best.   I am so excited to start getting them! To all baby shower participants we will not be having diapers unless they are cloth and from specific retailers.  Sorry to be a B but its a special bum we are talking about and cancer filled gels will be no where Bean.  Instead of eating dinner I watched an hour of cloth diapering videos on youtube, boring to some fascinating to others.  For less than $500 we could diaper our baby until preschool with the same set of diapers, no size n to 3 here!  Studies also show that cloth diapered babies potty train faster, yes a perk that is awesome.

The uproar in vaccinating kids was more intense than I expected.  Granted there are benefits to vaccinating, breast fed babies get all the protectants they need straight from the boob.  While I still have plenty of time to research all infant vaccines I will strongly decline any that contain aborted fetal cells.  Most vaccines have other baby cells in them, to host the strain of virus.  The medical society if benefiting from the loss of these children, its disgusting.

I also need to start looking for a pediatrician because most refuse to take home birth babies.  Really????? What is different about my baby than a hospital baby? It's still a baby is it not?  Ridiculous, I know I could never give birth in a hospital, I am entirely too combative and would call them on there money hungry ways.  I get fired up just thinking about insurance and hospitals taking advantage of women and using the line " its best for you baby" to get a pay out.

Gender update: Yes we have it scheduled for December 20th.  Yes you all will have to wait until Christmas morning to find out! Sorry loves its just the way it has to be.  Baby Girl you still don't have a name :( hopefully you have boy parts instead.

Picture Time: Before anyone laughs, yes I have ballooned this week, and yes I say the every week but check out my new and improved speed-hill.