Jokes

Jokes are funny, they make people laugh, however I am tired of being the butt of the jokes.  Granted being pregnant is hilarious and seems to supply an endless amount of material.  Today I think I will share some of the awesomeness that has unfolded this week.

I have always been rather clumsy and uncoordinated, much to the delight of my friends and family over the years.  Sunday night I managed to swallow water and air, resulting in spitting the entire mouthful on the floor.  The sad thing is that I never even tried to make it to the sink or an appropriate place to expel water with such force.  After saving myself from a near drowning, I started laughing hysterically causing B to laugh at me.  I continue to laugh/cry and clean up my mess while B continues to laugh at me.  I finally sit down and ask him why he didn't help? He replied " I just thought you found a new way to clean the floor".  His list of reasons for not helping are that original.  Nightly he asks if I need a bib or a sippy cup to keep the air out.

Example two: Monday night I was very tired and fell asleep easily.  Sometime in the night I managed to get up, use the restroom and proceed to sleep on the pot instead of coming back to bed.  Awesome I know, I have no recollection of getting out of bed in the first place let alone the events that follwed afterward.  B tells me at dinner last night " you know you fell asleep on the toilet last night right?" I responded " no? I had no idea I even left the bed"  B-" yep, you were gone for a long time.  instead of waiting for you to get up I just went to the other bathroom".  I'm not quite sure whats worse the fact that I fell asleep or that he left me there?

Example three: Everyone who has been pregnant or knows someone who is pregnant knows that every ten seconds they have to go pee.  With that being said, jokes that could result in an accidental peeing of the pants should not be allowed.  I will say that I have yet to actually pee my pants but have gotten close.  B must be on a mission to get one last thrill in before I beat his ass.  I was leaning over the kitchen sink, B comes behind me and pinches my rear.  Funny expect I was startled, it hurt and I almost pee'd my pants.  To B this is great fun, he has made it his mission to try multiple times a night to catch me off guard.  I can only imagine the pranks that Bean and B will be playing on me shortly.

I could list many more examples but these ones are the best.  We have an appointment to check on Bean tomorrow.  He is getting bigger and more comfortable in his "oven".  I feel him swimming about most days.  Chinese food really sends him into a frenzy.  I have started playing him music, they say it helps soothe them later on.  I purchased some clothes for Bean and a halloween bib.  I will give updates on Bean soon.

Jan 2nd 2012