Size Matters

Washing baby clothes last night, B walks into the laundry room. " what are you doing? why are you shrinking them". 

"I'm not, how big do you expect him to be?" "These are 0-3 month clothes, not even newborn, you should go look at those". 

Later sitting on the couch B asks again " are those really his clothes?" 

" yes, do you think he is going to be the size of Cooney when he comes out" ( coon weighs over 12lbs and is rather long)  

B- " well ya, he's not that big" 

" have at it then babe, you can deliver him yourself, no 12 pounder is coming out of me!" 

Milk Maid

So one of my main faults is always having to be an over achiever. To the point of not liking anything that I'm not perfect at the first time I try it.  Its partly genetics and a new syndrome that I plan on trademarking in the future.  This inherent need to be the best is quite possibly why I struggle with being pregnant, I've never made a human before and its hard!  Anyways the point is I want to breastfeed.

The problem is the boobs are attached to me.  Since I have to be perfect at it (or I will give up and throw a fit like a child) my boobs started early.  Even though I have 3 months until I need to actually feed someone the"boobs" have been practicing.  I now get to add leaky boob as a symptom of pregnancy.

They haven't quite reached shooting stream potential, however it is not safe to leave them uncovered.  After checking and double checking that it was in fact my boobs leaking and not dish water, sweat or another form of liquid I broke the news to B.  His response was go put a band- aids on them and stop making rings on my shirts.  Also I am not permitted to enter my own bed until the boob juice has stopped or they are covered.

Laughing is also getting dangerous.  I am having to really concentrate on not peeing when I start laughing.  I'm trying to get better at planning bathroom trips before these hysterical laughing fits but its near impossible.  B and I share the most ridiculous humor and mainly laugh at each other. Here is an example:
B- saying something in reference to the three little pigs
Me- shocked expression " I didn't even know you knew what the three little pigs were"
B- ya they are three pigs
Me - hysterical laughter " yes I told you they were pigs when I asked the question" Both of us laughing uncontrollably

We are pretty awesome at making each other laugh which is a good thing! Enjoy monday everybody!

27 weeks

How far along? 27 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss: 13 pounds 

Maternity clothes?: Maternity bottoms, regular tops. I'm still too small for maternity shirts aka tents 

Stretch marks?: boobs, legs, belly button, the belly button ones amaze me

Sleep: So good when I sleep from 6-8a night sleep is way too difficult 

Best moment this week: Hearing baby today hr was in 140's. Measuring right on despite my belly size 

Miss Anything?: raw sushi 

Movement: he moves all day long. the movements are stronger now and seen easily from the outside. my bladder must be the coolest trampoline ever

Food cravings: sweets, sour candy and meat

Anything making you queasy or sick: eating too much at once 

Gender: still a boy, can't confirm for sure until june

Labor Signs: braxton hicks throughout the day, not the real deal though 

Symptoms: Rounding belly, even bigger boobs, heartburn 

Belly Button in or out? still in but shallow 

Happy or Moody most of the time: Much happier lately. The gym really helps 

Looking forward to: Starting birth classes, baby moon in two weeks 

You know your pregnant when.....

1. Asking the waiter for a "hidden" menu

2. Order spicy shrimp at 10am and then pecan french toast

3. Consider the need of the dropped item before attempting to squat, kneel, or fold it two to retrieve item

4. Start drooling at t.v. food commercials

5. Questions are answered in weeks (auto-pilot), even if the pregnancy was not the question 

6. Extra time is needed for wardrobe malfunctions

7. If I had a nickel for every time I went pee we could send Bean to college

8. Walking into a room 3 or 4 times and still have no idea why

9. Heartburn comes just from thinking about making dinner 

10. It takes the whole bed and a bunch of pillows to sleep

Thoughts on Having a Boy

I have begged and pleaded to have a son since I found out I was pregnant. When we found out Bean was a boy I was so relieved and happy that there would be no bows and glitter afterall.  I got what I asked for but that doesn't mean I'm not scared shitless about raising a son.

I see the thomas trains and bob the builder trucks but I have no idea what sounds I'm supposed to make when he asks me to play.

I can't tell him how to pee, I just wasn't made that with those parts.

I want him to be a strong "boy" not some weepy momma's boy kid.

The thought of him growing up and liking a girl is terrifying, good thing I have time to cope.

I will have to think of outside energy burning activities since he wont be content to play with dolls or color.

Its my job to teach him to be nice and respectful to girls when I can't even do that as a grown up.

As much I wanted a boy, I know nothing about how to "grow" one up. I have 13.5 weeks to figure out a game plan. Time to make some lists and do some shadowing of other boy moms. Do boys even sit still long enough to do quiet  activities? How am I supposed to get anything else done in the day if I'm outside burning energy till dark?  The "boy section" of toys r us gives me anxiety just looking at all the action figures and g.i joes.  I'm going to have to learn about xmen, cars and power rangers.  Lord help me if pokemon is still around, I might just start digging my own grave.

Bean and I at 26 weeks. 

Stretch-marks or Sheet-marks

Lets face it, I'm getting big. Way big for my small 5'2 frame.  Luckily I'm braced with larger thighs and large arms to balance out the bigness. Over the last few weeks it has been increasingly difficult to roll over in bed.  This heave, lift, flop maneuver is anything but subtle at night. So I don't move until the alarm goes off between 5-6.

I wake up with these sheet-lines so deep they could be confused with canyons. None the less I check every morning just incase they have turned to the actually stay red and purple tiger lines aka stretch-marks.

Waiting to move until the morning has also created some unique inconveniences. I have been waiting to get up to pee so my belly is twice as big as before and twice as uncomfortable. In addition to the extra weight I usually fall asleep half on my side, half on my back so my legs are asleep.  It is very tricky getting off a too tall bed with a too full bladder and two sleepy legs. So far I have managed without peeing on me or the bed.

I sleep best once B leaves and I have the whole bed to stretch out on. I still sleep on my belly when I have room, its 10x better than sleeping on my side. The melons on my chest make it hard to breathe and even harder when they are forced to squish together from side sleeping.

26 week update and picture will come later, clothes shopping is depressing and long when pregnant, who knows how long I will be gone

Kitty Clink

So after almost a month of perfect nighttime behavior Coon relapsed, BAD.  Monday night we got 2 hours of sleep, maybe and thats counting the sleep yelling I was doing.  The remnants of valentines decorations on the dresser became his idea of a good time.

Visual picture 12 pounds of animal jumping onto a mirror to bite metal tinsel at 2 am . That wasn't loud enough so he started jumping from the dresser onto the wooden blinds to bang-bang them against the window.  So the easy solution is to raise all blinds and attempt to sleep with light pouring in.  That worked for all of 2 seconds. Back to the dresser he went.

Tuesday night the dresser was his bitch again. This time he actually managed to get some tinsel off. I was super annoyed until he started to eat said metal tinsel. Our past yelling, threatening stance, water bottle, and wooden spoon have no effect now. Because he is houdini and can open every stinkin door in this house including the ones that lead to outside I locked us in our room away from him.  That would have worked too except he knows he can open the door is he tries hard enough. Four hours of listening to him body slam, jump on the handle and scratch like a dog to get in was too much.

Last night B built him a kitty jail.  One locking handle removed from the bathroom and replaced in the laundry room.  He got three chances and off to the clink he went.  I removed all decorations hoping that would help. It did not, he choose to put more holes in my lamp shade. I removed said shade and he went after the bulb itself.  B had a long talk with him about how he was supposed to sleep and where appropriate play places were ect. The end of the talk resulted in telling coon he would go straight to jail where there was no bed, no food, and only a shitter to keep him company until morning.

He made it 10 minutes and off to jail he went, I was nice and gave him his bed.  What an ungrateful ass, He was not even happy to see us this morning. He acted like an entitled teenager and promptly showed us his disgust with his teeth.

Today I feel rested. Ace got to enjoy the bedroom without his brother. B got a full nights sleep which makes everybody happier.

P.s. its march first meaning I get to decorate today!